I'm sure you guys have heard about birth order. What number you were to come out of the womb, blah, blah, blah.

It's supposed to go something like this:

First born — Bossy, careful, responsible, patient, tends to enjoy pleasing people and approval, perfectionists, logical, loves to take lead. Believed to be smarter because had parents "first".

Middle child — Either really patient or impatient, protective, outgoing, relaxed, usually rather social and kind, feels/felt "trapped" in the middle.

Youngest child — Branded as spoiled, financially irresponsible, loves to take risks, funny, competitive, creative, secretive, and sensitive.

Only child — Something like the first born, but they never had to share their parents. Also emphasis on maturity and getting along with adults combined with precocity, however they tend to have issues sharing and are usually labeled "spoiled" in the Western world.

Twins or triplets — One is usually the first born and the other one acts like a middle or youngest. Traits vary considerably, but many have identity issues and feel either really superior or inferior. Not sure about quads and beyond.

They've said it also affects romantic relationships (I assume friendships as well). Two oldest will have too much power and butt heads, while two youngest will get way too carried away and tire quickly of each other. Funnily enough, oldest and youngest or only children and youngest seem to be good matches.

It can also be complicated by other factors, such as if the family has four girls and you're the only boy or vice versa.

I'm ashamed to say it, but I am the youngest of two girls and in my entire extended families of both sides as well (I have eight aunts and uncles on each side, we're not even onto their kids and them yet). It was funny because I was always the last one to go — puberty, high school, moving out, marriage — but I'm not proud of it. I feel like my parents let me get away with too much. As Nicole Richie said, "My parents way of making me happy was giving me anything and everything I wanted. However, I do not think a little girl should be allowed that much freedom." I'm also a big spender and get angry or sad too easily.

What do people think of it? (If you're single, you can just answer how it affects you in the family, at school, work, and so on.)

I think that like all stereotypes, they have a grain of truth, but should not be used as generalizations.

I am an only child, and I do admit I was a precocious child who got along better with adults than with other children and had rather bad sharing issues, mostly because I didn't understand why I had to give this other kid my toy; it didn't make sense to me - didn't they have their own? But my situation was a bit different, I didn't grow up with other kids at all, only played with them occasionally, so an only child accustomed to playing with other kids from a young age would most likely behave differently.

I wasn't spoiled though, my parents didn't cater to my whims and I knew my limits. Later though I rather enjoyed having all the pocket money to myself

It did affect my early life in the way that I had trouble fitting in and getting along with other kids but like I said, it's more of an upbringing issue rather than just me being an only child. I knew other kids without siblings who did just fine. When I became older and had learned enough of human nature and how society works, plus changed myself, it ceased to be a problem.

Did you enjoy being an only child? I knew a couple kids who were forced to be so due to Mainland China's policy (which has now held up for thirty long years). One guy from Shanghai moved to Auckland at four and Sydney a couple years later, but his parents ceased to have a second child.

One of my psychologists was an only child as well, and she told me, "No, it was too lonely. I always wanted a brother or sister to play with. But it wasn't strange, because everyone I knew was an only child as well."

I remember wishing for a brother or a sister when I was little, but it was out of the question. Once I hit my teens, I started to enjoy it more and more. At that age I had to go to my parents for money and other things such as clothes, electronics etc, things I cared about in a way a child doesn't (a child will be just as happy with a wooden toy before it's old enough to understand the worth of things), and I was very glad I didn't have anyone else to share those resources with. I was very much used to being an only child - it was the only life I knew, and I was past the age where I wanted a playmate. Although later I asked myself the philosophical question: "what would my life be like if I had a sibling?" - I'll never know of course, but it makes for nice debating. My boyfriend for example has a sister, so our life experiences are different in that way and fun to discuss.

I'll keep it brief, since I'm using the Wii.

I'm the youngest in my family by a large margin, with my sister being 10 years older and my brother being 8 years older. Those descriptions don't fit any of us well. As a side note, despite being so much younger, I still have a good shot at being the first to graduate college. Neither of my siblings are even close to graduating.

It would really depend on the personalities of the people. For example, my sister isn't marrying or having kids, so that's a big out. However, almost all my cousins (except two) married and popped out babies already. They all graduated from high school and college before I even entered it.

There should be exceptions if you're the child of a teenage or disabled parent (they usually don't have more than one as it's deemed undesirable or impractical, unless they have multiples) or an impoverished or ghettoized family.

i like to spend, but thats only because i dislike having money. money pisses me off for some reason. xD that, or i was taught i shouldnt have it.
...
*blames mother. shes terrible at teaching money handling.*

as far as to how well the stereotypes match....
i have two older brothers.
the eldest is quite a bit like what was listed, save the leadership thing. hes never really been in a position of leadership before, and hes quite happy not being in one.

the second is wrong, in my scenario, on the account that hes not protective, outgoing, relaxed, OR social. i do believe he feels trapped in the middle, though. hes the highest academic achiever in our family, and believes he did well on account of huge amounts of pressure. hes the type who thrives under it; i, wilt and die.

as for me, my eldest brother thinks im spoiled, but thats just his POV. i enjoy taking calculated risks...not stupid 90% chance of failure type risks. i wouldnt say im secretive, and i sure as hell am not competitive. i will go out of my way to run AROUND competitive scenarios, be it a job or just a game of hide and go seek.

i am also branded as a liar within the family circle, due to the early impression my brothers helped make of me. basically, they pinned all their little fuckups on me, and since i was too young to defend myself, my word against theirs, they won. my mother also always favored the boys over me, and my father died 2-3 years ago. he was the only person who really took my side in cases against the boys, but i suspect its because he was raised to think of women as weak and defenseless, and the boys as perfectly capable of defending themselves.
i think the eldest is most protective of the rest of the family. he has that frame of mind, like my father did, that anyone who messes with one of us, tempts the full wrath of the family. he can be rather friendly, generous, and kind, but has my fathers knack for holding grudges and being too proud to admit when he was wrong in an important scenario.

i basically got zero respect from my family. zero self confidence had been generated by the time i was 15. only after i started meeting my friends, and some REALLY awesome teachers, did i learn what being encouraged and being counted on felt like. [ and no im not saying this so that you can all play violins for me. its just how history went. ]
i do love my brothers, but man they can be assholes sometimes. they dont realize that their words cut deeper than they mean them to. i also never did well in school, and im sure it stemmed from the fact that my parents never really reacted to me until i started bringing home D's and F's. when they reacted to good grades, i compared it to my brothers, and found it to be antiquate. so i stopped getting good grades.
i guess it was a form of getting their attention? but it wasnt good attention.

I'm... complicated. On one hand, I'm the youngest of six; on the other, I'm an only child. I'm my dad's youngest and my mom's only, and I grew up as an only (my sisters and brother are way way way older). I am the very definition of Youngest, not much on the Only; I was daddy's Princess so I could get away with anything, unless mom found out LOL

"Branded as spoiled, financially irresponsible, loves to take risks, funny, competitive, creative, secretive, and sensitive."

I'm the youngest of four girls, and this does not suit me at all. I am not spoiled (never have been), NOT finanically irresponsible (nor will I ever be), and I HATE to take risks. Lol. I am funny, competitive and... sensitive. Everything else, though, is totally off... stereotypes suck.

Only child. Wouldn't have it any other way. (Though if it wasn't for a miscarriage, I would've had an older sibling.)

I only ever wanted a sibling when I was really little. I'm even more glad my parents didn't have any more because I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to suffer through having my dad as a parent.

Okay, now that I'm not messing around with an on-screen keyboard that takes up the whole screen and a rather shaky and somewhat inaccurate cursor, I can answer these in more detail.

First born— Bossy, careful, responsible, patient, tends to enjoy pleasing people and approval, perfectionists, logical, loves to take lead. Believed to be smarter because had parents "first".
The only one of those that really fits my sister is bossy, and that seems to run in the family, considering my aunt (I don't think she's the oldest [there's also two estranged siblings in her and my dad's family, so I'm not sure]) is that way, too. She's been in college for eight years now, in a large part to the fact that she keeps changing majors and changing schools. That rules out careful, responsible, and perfectionist. She's stronger in creative subjects than scientific and mathematical subjects (not that that stops her from majoring in the latter), so she's not particularly logical. She is a bit of a people-pleaser compared to me, but that's not saying much. She's more interested in avoiding criticism than gaining approval. She never really struck me as the leader type, and I pretty much stole the "smart" reputation from her in my extended family.

I love my sister, I really do, but she does have her weaknesses.

Middle child — Either really patient or impatient, protective, outgoing, relaxed, usually rather social and kind, feels/felt "trapped" in the middle.
"Either really patient or impatient". How very vague and easily applicable to anybody. None of that description seems to apply to my brother, other than social and outgoing. Even in that department, my sister has him beat. So, none of those fit, really.

Youngest child— Branded as spoiled, financially irresponsible, loves to take risks, funny, competitive, creative, secretive, and sensitive.
I'm definitely not spoiled or particularly financially irresponsible. Sure, I spend money, but it's all disposable income at my age, and I only buy things I know I can afford and use well. I only take risks in the benefits greatly outweigh the risks. As for funny, that's only if you like dead baby jokes, which many people don't. I am somewhat competitive. And creative, I certainly can be, though I'm more recognized for my long-term memory and mathematical abilities. I will end up working in a more scientific field. I'm really not any more secretive than anybody else. As far as sensitive goes, I'm about as sensitive as a half-rotted, brain-dead zombie in the middle of winter, as I'm sure some of the other members here can attest.

Agreed. Those other factors have a hell of a lot more influence on a person than when that person just happened to be born.

I definitely agree w/ the youngest child thing, do to personal experience.

I keep secrets. Plus I don't handle money well. And the others.... I think I feel to a degree.

Seems like you've thought a LOT about it. Wow.

And I already explained why it won't fit for everyone. You have the first guy stuck second and in the middle, so that killed it right there.





It means that the middle child could be really steadfast and hold his/her temper, or they could just be impatient as all fuck. I've seen people in the middle.

You're both right, though, I wouldn't take it too seriously. It's kind of like tarots and astrology.

Of course. It is Saturday on Labor Day weekend, and I did plan to go into more detail as soon as I could get back on the only functioning computer in the house (my mom was using it, and whatever she was doing apparently took longer than expected). That, and I like to be thorough.

That could explain why my brother doesn't fit, but not for my sister or myself. I'm also a bit surprised you didn't mention the significant age gap between me and my siblings.

Yeah, these types of things are fluff at best. In this case, though, the descriptions are still annoying, pervasive stereotypes.

So your ma popped, then popped again, then waited like another decade and popped again. Yikes.

Yep. And believe it or not, I was actually planned. My folks are probably lucky I wasn't born with Down Syndrome. Not that there's anything wrong with DS people, but my parents barely know how to handle an aspie kid, let alone a kid with DS.

"First born — Bossy, careful, responsible, patient, tends to enjoy pleasing people and approval, perfectionists, logical, loves to take lead. Believed to be smarter because had parents "first"."

My brother, who is the first born, matches none of these descriptions, except for the one about being bossy. At 18 years of age, he's never careful or responsible, he's one of the most impatient people I've ever met, he doesn't care much for approval from anyone, he is not at all a perfectionist, he isn't at all logical and is most definitely not a leader, unless it's a leader in getting drunk.
Though some of these descriptions can be applied to other first borns, it is most definitely nothing like my brother, and my brother and I are really close so I know all about him.

"Youngest child — Branded as spoiled, financially irresponsible, loves to take risks, funny, competitive, creative, secretive, and sensitive."

On the other hand, this fits me pretty much perfectly. Though my brother is also spoiled, my parents spoil me in a different way. I've always got better grades than my brother and so whenever I do well I'm rewarded with something, and my parents always buy me nice things which often leads to me getting called spoiled. Meh. I don't care. I get rewards for doing well, whereas my brother just gets stuff because, well, he gets stuff.
I am most definitely financially irresponsible, but only with my own money that I've earned, but I'm getting better with that. I do love to take risks, and I like to think of myself as funny as well.
I am incredibly competitive against anyone who asks for my competition, and I am also very creative. I don't tell my parents much, nor my friends, so I guess I am secretive, and I'm ridiculously sensitive to all manner of things as well.

They say girls are better in school and being obedient and listening, so I guess that might have to do with it.

Personally, my sister still did way better than me (and we're both Chinese, and she's older).

I'm the youngest of three siblings, and the only adjectives from this selection that describe me are sensitive and creative. While secretive bears a shred of truth, I prefer to think of myself as more private than secretive; I don't hide things about my life from others, but I'm not one to lay my psyche completely bare- I like a bit of mystery, and I like having little things about me that no one knows. I'm not a risk-taker in the least; I analyze and deliberate each and every move I make to the point of overcomplicating things. I always act with my head, never with my heart, and sometimes I wish that I could be different, in that respect. I'm too rational for my own good.

Oddly enough, the first two descriptions describe my older siblings quite well, although I wouldn't agree with the point about intellect made in the firstborn category. My siblings and I are all smart A students, but in very different subject concentrations, and of the three of us, I am the most academically accomplished as well as the most "geeky," so to speak. I love to learn and study subjects that I enjoy, and I'm always delighted to increase my knowledge. My brother and sister don't feel the same way.

The first one was supposed to be the "accident". Even if you've got billions and billions, the parents have no experience. They hate that their firstborn cries. They hate it and pressure them with knowledge and precautions. Then they loosen up after the second. They're supposed to be distinguished with "original" and yet "different" knowledge because they were the experiment.

I am an oldest child and the description fits me pretty well except that I am usually not bossy or a leader. With my brothers, I can be so, but with people outside of my family, I am very cordial and I treat them like equals. I am capable as a leader, but I usually choose to stand back and simply advise.

I'm the eldest of three. I'm three and a half years older than my brother, and five years (and one day!) older than my sister.

First born:
Bossy - not really;
Careful - yes;
Responsible - yes;
Patient - not overly, if I want something I tend to want it NOW but then after a short time that goes and I will wait;
Tends to enjoy pleasing people and approval - nah, not particularly bothered about that. I don't really care if someone doesn't like me;
Perfectionists - yes, I am rather anal in that sense;
Logical - yes;
Loves to take lead - no;
Believed to be smarter because had parents "first" - not really sure how to take that one.

My dad is the eldest too, and we both have a bit of a complex about how we had to work for things we wanted, whereas our younger siblings just got given them.

I always say that I'm the 'experiment child'. First born and therefore your parents test what methods of parenting work and what don't. However I was freakishly well-behaved as a child and my brother was a little horror, no normal parenting worked on him.

"Middle child — Either really patient or impatient, protective, outgoing, relaxed, usually rather social and kind, feels/felt "trapped" in the middle."
A fair bit of that is quite typical of my brother. When he was a kid he really hated that he wasn't the eldest.

"Youngest child — Branded as spoiled, financially irresponsible, loves to take risks, funny, competitive, creative, secretive, and sensitive."
A lot of that is quite typical of my sister. She's almost 19 and has only very, very recently started to get out of that 'stroppy teenager' phase.