The Scumthorpe Files

'I'm pretty much ready. Just need to put on some sandals.'

'Oh, great.'

'Um, you look lovely...'

'Oh, thanks... I considered a one piece, but fuck it, it's hot. Bikini it is.'

'It is boiling hot today. Did you put sun cream on yet?'

'Oh, shit. Good point, no I haven't. Thanks for reminding me. I'll put some on when we're at the beach.'

'Good. You wouldn't want to burn in this.'

'God, definitely not. I'm not used to this kind of weather. I mean, sure it's sunny in Sunset Valley, but Devil's Port is nothing but overcast skies and rain.'

'It must be nice to get away to somewhere like here, then.'

'Yeah, definitely. D'you know, this is the first actual holiday I've ever had? It's nice, but fucking weird.'

'Really? Abraxas never took you on holiday?'

'Nope. Still, it's hardly surprising though, is it?'

'I suppose not. Well, we should start going on more... Taking the girls as well, of course.'

'Yeah, that sounds good to me. Especially if at a time when Wed's not too busy with her uni stuff.'

'That would be nice. Sorry... I hope I didn't upset you.'

'Nah, it's fine. Sometimes the conversation turns to him, it's inevitable.'

'Okay, if you're sure...'

'...What's up? Bringing up Abraxas really isn't that big of a deal to me, y'know.'

'Well, it's not just that, but... I don't want to ruin things.'

'I don't understand.'

'...Do you think I'm creepy?'

'No. Trust me, I don't get into the habit of kissing guys I'm creeped out by.'

'I suppose that's a good point. I just still have a lot of regrets about the situation... Not about you, but you know.'

'About the whole Carmella part of it. I know we've touched on the topic before, but you've never actually told me the entire story from your perspective. I've heard it from her's, so what about yours?'

'Well... I should probably start with Mother's death. Father and I both took it very hard. I was only seventeen, and it sort of derailed my life... Both of our lives.'

'Yeah, that's understandable. Been through bereavement myself, I get it. It's a fucking bitch.'

'Right. So I never went to university, I've just lived with Father my entire life. I think we both needed each other, but things have never really changed... He became set on finding me a wife, but either nobody was ever good enough or she didn't like me. And I never knew the first thing about dating... it's no wonder they found me odd.'

'Not knowing shit about dating doesn’t make you odd, though. Wednesday's fumbling along learning as she goes, I've never had a relationship before and grew up with some thoughts that've turned out to be really fucking off base as it happens. Some people just take it a bit slower than others.'

'Yes, but... I am odd. The word "manchild" has been used before, and I can't really argue with it. I'm far too old to behave the way I do.'

'The only thing even remotely close to "manchild" behaviour I can think of is having some stuffed toys on a shelf, and that’s pretty fucking normal.'

'...Even if you still cuddle them sometimes?'

'Well, they're no good left on the shelf as a decor piece, are they?'

'No, I suppose not. Father isn't a bad person, you know. He's just... set in his ways. And I'm learning some of those ways aren't the right ways.'

'Yeah, definitely not. I mean, sure I've warmed up to him a tiny bit because he's revolted by Tate and Abraxas, but man, it's not just this whole getting you a bride thing that I dislike about him. I'm not saying he's as bad as those two, because fuck, I don't want to imagine a third, but he's at least somewhat misogynistic, even if it's... more covert.'

'Neither of us are used to women behaving the way you do. But I didn't marry you to try to change you. If you're happy with the way I am, then I'm happy with the way you are.'

'Thanks. That's not actually what I meant, though. I know what I'm like, and that I'm definitely not going to be the kind of person everyone likes. I know I'm crude, insensitive, unbending and pretty rude at times, I'm not trying to imply that disliking or being unused to my personality or behaviour is sexist. I mean the way Richard spoke to me when we first met. Asking me if I was a virgin, because he'd "prefer" you to marry one.'

'...Be honest, if, hypothetically speaking, you were gay - do you think he'd ask a potential husband of yours about his virginity?'

'No, I don't think so.'

'Exactly. It's a really intrusive thing to ask of someone you're meeting for the very first time. And if I'd asked him if he'd held himself to the same standard, he would've been hugely offended, right?'

'Um, yes.'

'Yeah, I know, I don't wanna think about it and you won't even less. I'm just trying to point out the double standard. So long as everything's kept safe, what and who I do with my vagina is nobody else's business, just like what or who you do with your penis is nobody else's business. And alright, I am still a virgin, but the point remains, y'know?'

'I know. When you said you had thoughts that were off-base, what did you mean?'

'Oh Jesus. I figured that sex was often violent. I mean, consensually done, but that rough shit was still generally expected.'

'Ohhh... Oh dear.'

'Yeah. Anyway, going back a bit, who came up with the idea of you marrying Carmella? Tate, or Richard? How long was that even a plan, before she'd been told?'

'I honestly don't know. Father told me about it last year, and I assume they both agreed upon it together.'

'That would make sense. So, when did she find out? And when did you realise she'd no clue?'

'...When the mayor invited us for dinner one night last year. It was a spur of the moment thing, he just... sprang it on her. All of them.'

'...Jesus fucking Christ. What a fucking cunt. Not only does that fuck with her, but it must've done a good head job on you, too. What a fantastic fucking way to treat the people you want to actually stay friendly with!'

'I know... I felt horrible over it. She didn't deserve that.’

'No. Neither'd you either, though. At least she's away from Tate now. I know she and Wed keep in touch, sounds like she's got a good support network going on. ...Though I'm not very fucking convinced you do, however.'

'Oh, I'm fine... I don't need support.'

'Even though the whole shitshow's still bothering you after a year?'

'What can I do, though? She isn't here for me to apologise to her...'

'Counsellor? Got to be better than keeping it to yourself, right?'

'Thank you, but... I don't need one. I'll be alright. It's okay.'

'Alright, if you're sure. And I'm not judging you for the whole Carmella thing, either. I mean, it's fucking horrible, but that's because of Tate and Richard. No offence, I know he's your dad, but in my opinion he should've known better.'

'You're right. But at least us being married now has put that whole thing to bed...'

'Yeah. I'm guessing it was just part of the status quo, right? It sounds like for a long time it's been Richard basically leading how things go, and you accepting him being in charge.'

'More or less, yes.'

'Do you still worry about me hitting you...?'

'Nah. I like to think I'm pretty good at judging what people're like, and I don't think you could hurt a fly.'

'Oh good, I'm glad.'

'Feel better now you’ve got that off your chest?'

'Yes, thank you. Should we get going now?'

'Yeah, sounds good.'

'Hello, come in.'

'Oh wow! And congratulations!'

'Thanks... She's called Hope.'

'She's really cute.'

'She is. How was the birth?'

'Long and painful.'

'Ugh, I hear that. Not something I particularly want to experience again. How's the world's best husband been? I'd ask if he's been helpful, but I can already guess the answer.'

'Yeah, Abraxas has barely done anything, but I didn't expect otherwise. Actually, um, I'm kind of glad. I should probably get used to taking care of a baby's needs by myself...'

'I did hear you were both potentially thinking of leaving.'

'That's right. I don't think I can stay much longer.'

'So presumably that's the issue you're here to discuss?'

'Yeah... If that's okay, anyway.'

'It's absolutely fine. I completely agree that the pair of you are much better off away from those two, so if I can help make that happen, then I will.'

'I know I was rude last time. I didn't like to admit I was wrong. But now I know I've made a huge mistake.'

'In fairness, Indigo was getting rather... aggressive as well. But regardless, I'm glad you're reconsidering. Do either of you have a plan at all yet?'

'That's kind of why we're here... With Brie's twins and me having a newborn, we both kind of feel a bit stuck... Not to mention my other kids. And I wouldn't feel good about leaving Phaedra's twins with Abraxas, either.'

'Ah. Okay. So, first thing's first, deciding on a place to go. Where would you ideally escape to?'

'I don't know. Somewhere the cost of living isn't too high, and I can get a job.'

'Bridgeport, perhaps? It's fairly affordable, and plus with such a high population, Tate and Abraxas would have difficulties finding you there.'

'I was thinking of Twinbrook, maybe... Abraxas' oldest son lives there, and he unsurprisingly hates his dad... He might be willing to help out. I don't know. It's not gonna have many modelling jobs for Brie, either...'

'Bridgeport's good for jobs... Do you think it might be dangerous, going to Tate's hometown? He rarely visits, though.'

'That's a good point, fuck. What about somewhere else city-esque? Roaring Heights? Starlight Shores?'

'Hmm, I've had a couple of jobs in Starlight Shores before. That could work!'

'Great! Okay, look into that, and get a start on checking out properties there as well. Are you two going to be living together?'

'We thought it might help, yeah.'

'Right, so you're going to have to decide how large of a place you'll need, how many bedrooms and so forth.'

'...Probably gonna be a lot...'

'I'll have three kids, and she'll have... five. Ten people.'

'...Jesus Christ. Okay. Even keeping it two people per room, that's still going to be a five bedroom place. Would the two of you be comfortable sharing?'

'As long as it's big enough for a crib or two, I don't think it's a problem, is it...?'

'Nope, it's fine with me.'

'We already slept together, so it's fine.'

'...........Well, I suppose if I had to choose between Tate and Abraxas, I'd opt for suicide.'

'Now we just need those two to hook up, and we'll have all swapped together.'

'Holy shit, that's going to be in my nightmares!'

'Oh God! No, they'd spend too much time arguing which one's going to top.'

'I'm going to go and drink some bleach.'

'Sorry, but they deserve each other.'

'No, I definitely agree. But uh. Anyway. ...Was there anything else to discuss?'

'...Do you think I'm capable of this? I don't think my parents would speak to me again if I left.'

'I said this before, and I'll say it again, though I understand it's a little harsh: but if they'd be willing to cut you off because you left a misogynistic abusive murderer, they're not worth keeping in your life in the first place. That's not thinking of their daughter or their granddaughters at all.'

'I know... it'd just be difficult with no family.'

'It'd still be difficult anyway, just in a different way, if you were to stay and have to endure your parents continuing to peddle pro-Tate bullshit. Men like him and Abraxas wear you down. You can be the strongest, most no-nonsense person you know, but all it takes is time. They erode your self esteem, destroy your confidence and make you reliant on them. And as you're aware from our last chat, unfortunately I also know that from experience. It would've been so much more difficult to leave my ex if I'd had people in my ear telling me what a great man he is. Of course, I'm not going to make out that it's going to be sunshine and roses, but you will have support. I can still try to help out once you've both left, and maybe Tate and Abraxas' other, older children. I can't say for certain, obviously, but you are having their siblings.'

'That's true... Indigo dotes on her siblings, after all.'

'After what happened with Saraya, I doubt either she or her siblings would ever want to see me again.'

'I really can't say for certain. Perhaps they're still angry, perhaps they're not, I honestly don't know. But it's worth trying. Chances are they'd be more willing to listen if they know that you're looking to escape Tate. After all, it wasn't you that committed the arson.'

'I'll give it a shot.'

'And I'll talk to Indigo when she's back from honeymoon.'

'Great, good luck to you both. ...Christ, though, I still can't believe Indigo went through with it. I know she's stubborn as fuck, but...'

'I didn't expect it either... I hope she's happy.'

'Me too. I'm certainly going to be keeping an eye on how things progress.'

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