ohdear why am I here? So ehhmm this is a story I wrote (and completed) not long ago, and I've actually had it published on fictionpress (under the same title, but the username is rippedjeans.), just so that you guys know that I didn't steal anyone else's work. I just wanted to share it with the people here! Although I'm a bit nervous about it .. *redfaced* heh, and I actually wanted to do a simstory with this, but in the end I figured that I'm just too lazy to get down to work

Anyways, it's not a long story, but it'd be great if I can get tips and advices on how to improve on it further from the s2c people. Thanks and enjoy!

--

Title: The Beginning
Word count: 9531
Summary: This christmas, something was about to change. Things were going to be different, but Tori Bruno didn't know that. She was about to wake up 14 years later.

--

Prologue

Christmas Eve, the whole of New York City was like an oversized snow globe, basking under the falling snow.

It was Tori Bruno’s favourite day, aside from her own birthday, because she would get to see her neighbourhood in such bright and colourful lights, and listening to the familiar Christmas carols in the distance. And although the adults were all downstairs, speaking words she could never understand – at least not for her age, she was enjoying the spectacular view in her own little cot.

“Oh, Brad, you couldn’t have left the little princess upstairs, all alone, could you? The little one deserves all the attention like any other kid,” Abigail, one of Tori's Aunts, pointed out to Brad, Tori’s father. She never had her own kid, for some reason, but she loved every other kid in the world, especially Tori. She always thought that Tori possessed some form of elegance and grace in her juvenility, and she would do anything under the sun for Tori.

“Well, I guess she won’t even understand half of the things we’re talking about, and she’d rather have her own time alone in her room,” Tori’s mother, LeAnne Bruno said.

“I mean it’s all those things about giving kids their own freedom and stuff,” LeAnne continued.

She saw absolutely no point in bringing her daughter downstairs – despite of the huge fireplace in the dining room, it was strangely warmer in Tori’s bedroom. As a mother, LeAnne preferred to keep her daughter warm in her own room.

“Are you kidding me? That’s for teenagers, LeAnne. Children at this age crave attention,” was Abigail’s reply to the stubborn mother. “LeAnne, seriously, did you attend the wrong parenting course a few years back?”

“Well problem is she didn’t even attend any parenting course,” Abigail’s husband gave a low chuckle and continued eating after receiving a glare from Abigail.

LeAnne frowned and took a deep breath, “Alright I’ll go up to check on her. Abby, you might want to come along.” She wiped a napkin over her mouth and got up from her seat.

However, Tori wasn’t feeling warm at all. Her cot was nowhere near cozy, and her room today was exceptionally chilly. She couldn’t help feeling a sense of loneliness all of a sudden, gazing up on the vast night sky. After awhile, the bright lights couldn’t catch her attention anymore, and she succumbed to a sleepy spell. When she closed her eyes, she suddenly felt herself fading away, as if merging with the millions of stars above. She wanted to call for her mom, she wanted to scream, but she had no voice.

The rest was darkness.


The Beginning

Tori gradually regained consciousness. With her eyes still closed, she felt herself lying on a soft and cushiony bed, and imagined those smooth satin sheets that seemed to glide over her skin everytime she moved.

“Tori! Get up or you’re going to be late for your first day of school!” came a yell from a familiar voice. Gingerly, Tori opened her eyes and was practically blinded by the intense daylight. It was as if she never opened her eyes for years, and somehow, she felt different.

She slid out of her bed and walked towards the door, following the path the sound had traveled from. She slowly made her way through the familiar hallways, and felt safe at the thought that she was at home … although the way the furniture were aligned somehow differed from that of when she last saw it, which she assumed was the previous night. And as strange as it might seem, the Christmas decorations were no where to be found. The colourful Christmas tree was no longer sitting in the dining room, and she didn’t feel that cold anymore, despite the fireplace being unlit.

“Tori, did you hear me? You’re going to be late!” there came that familiar voice again, and suddenly it dawned on Tori that it belonged to her mother.

Tori quickened her pace towards the origin of the voice, and saw a recognizable being washing dishes by the sink in the kitchen. She stood by the doorway and called uncertainly, “Mom?”

LeAnne turned, and sent a shock throughout Tori. Her mom’s hair was long and tied up; slightly brown with a hint of gray, and she had a few wrinkles around her eyes. That would be typical for a middle-aged mother, but not for Tori’s, especially if her mom was still having short blond hair the previous night.

“Tori honey! You’re finally here. Your breakfast is on the table, go help yourself,” LeAnne said as she gestured at the fried eggs. “And be quick, of course, you don’t want to miss the schoolbus.”

Tori edged towards the table, and couldn’t help but to throw a few more glances at her mom, who looked familiar and yet felt like a total stranger to her. Finally, she spoke, “Mom, you look … different.”

LeAnne wiped her hands on a piece of cloth and said, “Don’t be silly, honey, I’m still your same mom! I still look the same, as yesterday, at least,” she laughed, “Oh the old days. I used to have brilliant blond hair and it was never this long! That was the ‘in’ thing then.” She reminisced like an old woman.

That confused Tori even more, “What do you mean, ‘then’? And how can you have changed so much overnight? You were still having that blond hair yesterday!”

LeAnne smiled warmly and pushed Tori along, “Enough of that, now, pumpkin, go have your breakfast or you’ll be late!” Tori was going to reply, but she stopped herself. She had a million questions in her mind, but she chose to keep quiet about them.


Tori weaved through the crowd, nearly getting trampled over by the swarm of students flooding into school. Her mom had said nothing about her new school the previous night, and although she had no idea what she was doing there, she was determined to find out.

“To-ri!” someone called. Tori spun around and saw a tall and slender figure of a girl that was about her age whom she couldn’t recognize.

“Um, hi, you are …?”

The girl gaped in astonishment, “I’m Chelsea! Your best friend! Hello?” She waved a hand in front of Tori’s face and continued, “Come on, Tor, don’t tell me you’re suffering from amnesia after coming back from summer break, because that wouldn’t be funny.”

“I have a best friend?!” Tori stared blankly into Chelsea’s face, wondering if everything were real. And suddenly, a flashback hit Tori. She was playing Lego with Chelsea in her room, but they were toddlers then. Then she widened her eyes, as if remembering, “Oh, Chelsea,” she said, pretending to recall and understand, although things were just getting weirder by the minute.

The next thing she knew, they were talking like they’ve known each other for ages. At least that was the case for Tori.


Lunch was quite lonely, as Tori walked down the school hallways alone. Her so-called supposedly “best friend” Chelsea was hanging out with another bunch of cheerleading friends, leaving Tori all alone. Better off that way, Tori thought, I’d have space to sort things out.

She had walked a total of 3 rounds around the third floor when she stopped, sighing deeply. This was getting nowhere, if she wanted to know what on Earth was happening, she would have to find that out herself. And if she wanted to find out, it’d be best if she started talking to other people.

I can’t possibly have only one friend, Tori thought to herself again, that would be sad. I’m sure someone else knows me in this school.

She shrugged and decided to walk another round, just to make sure no one knows her on that floor. When she walked the fourth round, she finally saw a guy walking towards her, waving his hand.

“Hi!” He greeted her cheerfully.

“… Hey,” she replied, smiling back, studying the person before her. He looked about a year older than her with dark brown hair like hers and deep green eyes that seemed to be concealing a mystery within him. He must be one of my good friends, she thought.

For a moment, when no one else said anything, Tori decided to ask him about summer homework or something along those lines, just to make sure she didn’t act off center. However, he broke the silence before her.

“So, uh,” he began, “Are you new or something?” he narrowed his eyes, as if trying to recall if he had seen her face anywhere. “I’m sorry, because I’m quite certain that this is the first time I’ve seen you around. I’m Ryan, Ryan Bolton,” he gave her a charming smile.

Tori’s shoulders dropped. Apparently he didn’t know her. Her approach towards the guy immediately changed from “good friends” to “stranger”. She felt a slight pang and replied, “Yeah, I just transferred from Brooklyn High – this place looks great!” she faked an enthusiasm. “Tori Bruno,” she introduced herself casually.

“Hey, Tor!” Tori caught Chelsea waving at her from a few meters away. She waved back as Chelsea jogged towards her. “Who were you talking to?” she asked curiously, looking everywhere but constantly missing Ryan.

“We were just introducing ourselves each other,” Tori replied immediately, thinking that it must be one of Chelsea’s jokes. Chelsea frowned, “Introducing? To whom?”

“Um, Ryan Bolton?” Tori pointed him out to Chelsea, who was still looking lost. “Who the hell is Ryan Bolton?” Chelsea questioned. “And where is he?”

Ryan smiled at Tori and said, “Forget it, a lot of people tend to ‘miss’ me sometimes, so don’t worry about it.”

Tori raised an eyebrow; it was ridiculous if Chelsea could just “miss” him like that. “Chels, he’s right in front of me.”

“Don’t be stupid, there’s no one in front of you!” Chelsea said stubbornly. “Okay you’re freaking me out. You know what? Forget it, I have to go – I’ll catch you after school later, alright?” Tori waved as Chelsea rejoined her cheerleading friends, leaving Tori alone with Ryan again.

“Wait, what do you mean that people tend to ‘miss’ you?” Tori asked. Ryan was fully visible to her, and she was certain that no one in their right state of mind would miss him.

“Like, they don’t really see me,” Ryan pointed out, looking uneasy. “Look, lets not talk about this anymore now, alright? I’m not too comfortable talking about it.”

Tori was even more perplexed than ever, and although she wanted to argue and perhaps list out all the laws of Physics that allow the human eye to see something as obvious as Ryan, she didn’t. She decided to give him space, and not dwell on the subject.

As freaky as the whole condition might seem, she was beginning to feel relaxed around Ryan. He was positive and cheery, and he never failed to make her smile. And being tangled up in such a weird situation, laughter was what she needed the most.


“Tori,” LeAnne knocked gently on Tori’s bedroom door. “I believe it’s your call again,” she said, holding the ringing phone out to Tori. Opening the door to a small crack, Tori reached out and grabbed the phone, closing the door quickly.

“Ryan?” Tori ventured a guess.

“Yep, hey Tori!” came Ryan’s bright voice. It felt strange; he seemed to be always there when she needed someone. He was someone she’d share secrets with, he was someone she could rely on, and most importantly, he was someone whom she believed was very, very real, even if all this were a dream, she knew he was genuine.

“Hi! What’s up?” Tori said cheerfully into the phone. After the weird incident that happened a few days ago, she had recovered almost completely, and was able to laugh jovially again. “I think my mom’s getting annoyed by your calls, and soon she’ll be asking me about you.”

Ryan’s pleasant chuckle sounded from the other end. “Well then you can tell her all about me. Wait, did she hear my voice?”

“I don’t think so; the phone was still ringing when she handed it over. She didn’t answer it – why do you ask? Oh, something about people ‘missing’ both you and your voice again?” Tori knew it was bizarre, but part of her actually believed him.

Tori and Ryan had been hanging out a lot lately, so Ryan became more comfortable talking about his special issues.

“Well … yeah, something like that. Because people can’t normally hear my voice too, you got that right. It – it’s weird, Tori, you won’t understand,” Ryan replied. “Like, sometimes people just walk right into me, because they don’t see me, you get what I mean? At least most people don’t. I believe there’re people who do. Like you.”

Tori smiled at the thought of her being the special one out of a million other people of the human population. “Well I’m sure my mom will like you if she sees you – although I’m still quite baffled by the fact that people actually ‘miss’ you. It sure does sound impossible but there’s somehow a hint of possibility in that impossibility,” she said. Then, grimacing at her own words, she added, “Oh look, there goes my sanity.”

Ryan laughed and said, “Look, Tori, I don’t know, but you could well be the one and only person in the world that can see me. I mean, you never know! It’s just that – I hope that you’ll cherish your privilege.” A sudden feeling of emptiness swept over Tori. Her heart went out to Ryan. He must be the loneliest person in the world before knowing me, she thought sympathetically.

“And in any occasion that … you can’t see me anymore, I want you to know that I’ll always be there.” His words sounded weird, why would she not be able to see him anymore at any point in time?

“I’ll miss you if that day ever comes,” Tori said, smiling to the phone.

There was a silence. Strangely though, the silence wasn’t empty. It was filled with warmth, compassion and love. It wasn’t just the normal silence, it was speechlessness. Words were not spoken between the two, and yet the meaning and significance echoed loud and clear in their minds.

“The prom, Tori,” Ryan said finally. “Would you go with me?”

Tori’s heart skipped a beat. She nearly yelled out the answer Yes! as joy took over her. “Yeah, I mean, sure! I’d love to.” Tori wanted to scream and do a victory lap around her bedroom. He was asking her to the prom! He was asking her out, and what he said made her whole life complete. “I’ll get my dad to send me there.”

“Great! I’ll see you there then,” Ryan said politely, and they hung up.


It was Thursday afternoon. LeAnne eyed her daughter suspiciously. Tori had been acting unusually odd lately. And due to that, they had been talking lesser and lesser, and their relationship was drifting miles apart. And the calls, from a boy, she heard, who was he?

She decided to go straight to the point and ask Tori. She made her way up to Tori’s room and pushed the door open. Surprisingly, Tori was holding up a dress in front of the mirror, twirling and turning, showing off a mystifying joy LeAnne had never seen on her face before.

“Mom!” Tori turned abruptly and tossed the dress onto her bed. “I didn’t know you were here.”

LeAnne knew what was happening. She was Tori’s age once, and she understood her more than anyone else did. Tori was a growing teenager, a blossoming flower, and falling in love couldn’t be anymore normal for someone her age. And that was why she needed to know who the other party was.

“Honey, I know and understand perfectly what you’re going through now,” she put an arm around her daughter. “Girls like you need to be given a chance to love and be loved. Tell me, is he good?”

Tori raised an eyebrow. She had never thought about falling in or out of love – the only thing she knew was that she was having a fun time with Ryan, and the rest was put aside. For a minute she didn’t know what exactly to answer her mother.

“I don’t know, mom, stop asking, will you? It’s just that there’s a prom tomorrow and I ought to be dressing up for it. You know I’m a complete idiot at these things – I need to plan my outfits in advance or I’ll go mad tomorrow,” she replied awkwardly, trying to change the subject.

“Come on, sweetie,” LeAnne made her second attempt to probe, “What’s his name, Ryan? I’ve heard you mention him a couple of times.”

Tori had no memory of her telling her mother about Ryan, but perhaps she had said buckets unconsciously, but it was of no harm anyway.

“Alright, I’ll tell. We’ll be going to the prom together tomorrow, you’ll get to see him then,” Tori gave her LeAnne a reassuring look, and pushed her out of the room. “Now I would need some privacy deciding what I should wear tomorrow.”

Looking blankly at the door that was closed before her, LeAnne sighed. Tori’s growing up, it’s normal for her to be drifting away from her parents, she assured herself. And yet, she felt that the situation was different from that of other teenagers.

The ringing of the doorbell jolted LeAnne back to reality.

LeAnne cast another look at her daughter’s room, and then reluctantly went for the door. She swung the door open, and seeing no one there, decided close the door thinking that it was some stupid prank those little kids played when Tori greeted merrily from behind her.

“Ryan!” she grinned broadly, inviting the visitor in. “What brings you here?”

LeAnne gawked in bewilderment, who was her daughter talking to? Her gaze followed Tori, and forgetting to close the door, she observed her.

Then, noticing her mom’s inquisitive look, she did a straightforward introduction. “Mom, this is Ryan. Ryan, mom,” she said, bringing Ryan in front of her mother for her inspection. Ryan cast Tori an anxious look, and Tori returned him a heartening one.

Tori’s mother continued to look disorientated, and then finally, as if leaping out of a lapse, she broke into a hospitable smile. “Hello, Ryan, what a pleasure to have you here,” she smiled in Ryan’s direction. “Tori talks about you a lot.” She put up a good act in front of Tori, but once their backs were turned, she frowned and re-enacted the scene in her mind. It was almost as if her daughter was talking to an … imaginary friend.

She did notice that Tori had been acting rather peculiar recently, but she had not taken her case into serious considerations. She had assumed that it were all part of her “growing up”, for girls that had just went through puberty and developed a whole new way of thinking. But she knew that that wasn’t the case anymore, Tori was long past that stage, and it apparently seemed to be developing into something more severe.

As far as she knew, Tori did not encounter any shock that impacted her greatly – or so she thought. But you’d never know, LeAnne Bruno, she doesn’t tell you anything, she doesn’t even talk to you anymore, she thought to herself, it’s almost becoming impossible to tell what’s going on inside her head, and maybe it’s just the tiniest lack of care and family concern that led her to fantasize and have hallucinations.

She turned to look at Tori again. Yes, she was certain; there was absolutely no one in front of her that she seemed to be talking so animatedly with. But Tori looked so blissful, so natural, so loved that anyone being her mother wouldn’t have the heart to spoil it for her. LeAnne struggled between her consciences, and finally decided that this was definitely a case for concern, and being a mother, it was only right of her to do something about it.

It was time to interfere.

With much determination, she went upstairs and picked up the phone by her bed. Surely an old friend of hers would know how to deal with the problem through psychological means.


Friday afternoon, Tori heard a gentle knock on her bedroom door. Slightly annoyed, she stuffed all her accessories back into the drawer and answered it.

Standing in front of her was an elegantly dressed woman in formal white and black outfit with thick brown curls cascading down her shoulders. That lady wasn’t carrying a smile. She looked completely neutral, and it was hard for Tori to guess what she was feeling. Tori’s imagination ran wild again. Because of her recent ‘memory loss’, she was not sure who the lady was, but she definitely wasn’t her teacher.

Could it be one of my aunts, or one of them who came for the Christmas Eve dinner, perhaps? She thought.

“Hello there,” the lady started the ball rolling. “Are you Tori?”

Tori returned her a befuddled stare and nodded her head slowly. That definitely did not sound like how her aunt would greet her. She speculated the lady further and realized that something about her told Tori that she wasn’t one of her relatives. She looked like the kind that worked for the government to nail down suspects – like an FBI undercover agent.

“If you’re thinking that I’m an FBI agent working undercover as a bread delivery woman that shows up randomly at the bedroom door of confused citizens,” she said, “then you’re wrong.”

Nah, FBI agents wouldn’t have had the mentality or life for that profound a sarcasm. Then who exactly is she, a walking joke with legs? Tori thought sarcastically to herself in return for the lady’s own sarcastic remark. She didn’t know who in the world that lady was, but she definitely had no rights to insult her intelligence by being so sarcastic.

“Alright now,” Miss Sarcasm exhaled deeply, “I shall not insult your intelligence further. Let’s get down to work.” She pulled a chair for herself and settled down in front of Tori.

Was it Tori’s own paranoia taking over her, or did that lady just read her mind for the second time? And work? What work?

The lady gave a tight smile and said, “People working in this line have learnt to read minds through the simplest body language, even stuff like a slight twitch of someone’s eyebrow or the infamous flare of nostrils.” Seeing the confused and impatient look on Tori’s face, she decided to conceal the mystery no more. “I’m a psychiatrist; you can call me Dr. Weinberg. I’m here to help you.”

Tori’s face immediately broke into a look of ridicule. A psychiatrist? Wha - who’d she think she is, showing up in someone’s bedroom like that? She must be mistaken, Tori thought again. “Um, are you sure you didn’t get the wrong house? We don’t have any mentally challenged patients here,” Tori pointed out.

“You’re wrong about that, youngling, again,” Dr. W replied. “Patients that are mentally ill don’t usually see the fact that they’re mentally ill.” Tori hated the way she spoke and beat about the bushes. There was a hint of humiliation in her tone.

“Wait - Are you trying to say that I’m mentally unstable?” Tori gawked, deeply offended by Dr. W’s words. “Sheesh, that’s the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. I’m perfectly normal, and I’ll prove it to you. I’ll get my mom here right this minute.”

Dr. W intervened and closed the door, “I guess you’re mistaken … actually, your mother sent me. I’m an old friend of hers, and trust me; I’m not here to humiliate you or anything – that’s not what psychiatrists do. I just want to know more about the boy you’ve been hanging out with recently.”

Tori was even more astonished. How could her mom have sent a psychiatrist to treat her own daughter? That’s completely absurd, she thought. She gave a ridiculous laughter and said, “Okay, look, if you want to know stuff about him, I’ll tell you. But I don’t see any reason why you should be here. I’m absolutely healthy and I don’t require a psychiatrist. And I would appreciate it if you would stop fabricating lies to make me believe you. My mom never sent you.”

“She did, and sure, no one needs a psychiatrist because they’re dating. Not unless the boy is part of your imagination,” Dr. W told her. Tori blinked. She was not mad and she was nowhere near to admitting the fact that she was – because she wasn’t.

“I’m not mad!” she screamed. “I’m not seeing things. I’m sure of that. Ryan is real. He’s real, he’s even more bona fide than any other guys I’ve seen and I don’t intend to trash my belief.”

Dr. W shook her head. She hated handling stubborn patients. She would go nice and slowly with patients who were more trusting, but she just couldn’t stand impolite patients. “Tori, how can he be real if you’re the only one who has the abnormal ability to see him while no one else does?” She told her. “your mother, Tori, would be the closest example that I can find at the moment. Do you seriously think she can see him? The way she acted as if she really did a something out of nothing was all … untrue. I hope you know that, Tori.”

Tori stood transfixed in front of Dr. W for a second. Then she started shaking her head vigorously, “Dr. Weinberg, I understand that you must’ve handled many, many psychologically unstable patients, but surely you can tell and differ a normal person from the abnormal? My mom, I’m certain she saw him. I can assure you, that she did see him, and there’re at least 2 people in this world that can see him. I don’t care about the others.”

Tori paused, realizing how bizarre an unconvincing that sounded. She then allowed her shoulders to fall, took a deep breath, and looked Dr. W directly in the eye, determined to make a difference. “Look, I have a prom in like a few hours, and I’ll have to get ready for it. So please, perhaps another day,” she showed Dr. W to her bedroom door and opened it, only to realize that her mother, LeAnne, was standing right outside with a look of shock written all over her face.

Tori’s mouth fell slightly open and turned her look into a perfect glare, “Why were you eavesdropping?” Tori could not stand people eavesdropping and meddling with her life like that. She was a high school student, not a three-year-old baby who sucked on milk bottles.

Her mom continued to look astounded and tried to speak. “I – I just wanted to know what was happening and –”

“You want to know what’s happening? You, mom, of all people – haven’t you already worked it out by yourself? So sure of yourself all along and calling up a psychiatrist, resolute that your own daughter’s hopelessly insane?” Tori retorted, “I’m your daughter, for crying out loud, and this is how you’re treating me?” That was a statement, not a question.

“Oh sweetie, look, I just thought –”

“No, mom, not another word!”

She felt deeply betrayed. Of all people, of all people! Her mom was the only person who actually did something because she didn’t trust her enough to believe that Tori was not seeing things.

Dr. W wanted to say something but was maliciously interrupted by Tori. “LEAVE!” LeAnne then gave Dr. W a we’ll-talk-another-day look and retreated back into her kitchen.


Six thirty sharp, Tori’s dad, Brad, arrived punctually on the doorstep of their house, ready to send his daughter to the prom. He noticed that her daughter was unusually cold towards his wife, but did not put much concern into it.

“Honey, you look gorgeous,” he said as Tori slid into the car and planted a kiss onto her father’s cheeks. “So, who’s the lucky guy tonight?” He winked.

Tori realized that she had never told her father about Ryan before. Excited, she started to rattle non-stop about her newfound friend.

“Ryan?” Brad smiled, raising an eyebrow. Giving a reminiscing look, he said, “Had an old friend from High School, Ryan was his name I think – you’d be calling him Uncle Ryan next time you see him – he was those huge flirts you call … sucked up to teachers, even asked one out during a prom.”

“No way!” Tori laughed cheerily, recovering from the bad mood she was having that afternoon. She felt comfortable around her father – he, at least, believed her, despite having not spent as much time together.

The father and daughter chatted and laughed merrily, and Tori was surprised that they had not had a similar conversation for years.

The car pulled into 24 Richardson Drive, stopping exactly in front of the grocery store opposite Tori’s school.

“Alright,” her father said, giving a small stretch. “Have a fabulous time, love,” he turned and kissed her daughter on the forehead as she smiled awkwardly towards the direction of the huge crowd of students who were gathered at the entrance of her school.

“I will,” she said, giving her father a half-hug and stepped out of the car into the fresh scent of summer.

Brad kept an eye on his daughter as he pulled his car out of the drive. Just as he was about to accelerate in the opposite direction, he stopped. Something was wrong.


After crossing the road, Tori started a little jog towards Ryan and straight into his arms. “Hey there,” Ryan grinned, as he adjusted his tie. He looked particularly charming in his black tux, and Tori nearly melted right in his arms. They stood there hugging for a bit, and just when Tori thought she was on top of the world, someone yelled. Next was a deafening crash that shook the pavements. Astonished, Tori turned instinctively. On the road, in a pool of blood, lay the father she’d known for years, the father whom she was so close to and yet so far apart with.

Dead.

Somewhere in the distance, the remains of the yell continued to echo throughout the cold night air.


Tori lay in Ryan’s arms with puffy eyes, makeup and mascara smudged all over her face. It was the worst day of her life, and she knew that there’d be worse to come. The two watched as the police cars and ambulances leave, and waited for the crowd to disperse.

“Hey Tor,” Ryan held her close to him, rocking slightly to coax her like a baby. “Don’t brood over what’s happened. It won’t make time turn back and look, none of us wanted this to happen to anyone, much less your father, and – ”

“Tell me, seriously! What the hell was he doing sprinting across the street like that?” Tori couldn’t stand it anymore. “He should’ve known that it’s practically murder-suicide to just like, dash across the road – he used to lecture me a lot on that when I was young and now he – he’s …” Tori stared at the starless sky, wide-eyed, as the full impact hit her hard and strong.

“… Dead,” she finished, her voice trailing off into a small hum of the tune her father loved to sing to her in her younger days. It was the theme song of her favourite Disney animated movie, Beauty and the Beast.

Ryan said nothing. He understood all the things Tori was going through, but all he did was lie on the grass with his favourite girl, listen to her, and closed his eyes. He knew, by that time, that he loved her, and she loved him back.

That night, Tori fell asleep in Ryan’s embrace, entering a whole world of nothing but misery. Her sleep was painful, but quiet. Dreamless, as all her fantasies escape her into the vast and deep universe.

That was the faraway place where, she believed, her father now peacefully lie.


Morning came silently.

Ryan walked Tori home and they’d taken their time because none of them were intending to go to school that day. Tori had a good reason not to, and Ryan just wanted to be with her for as long as possible. His wordless company made Tori wonder why he was still so calm after the death of someone so dear to her.

He knows something, Tori thought. The idea startled her; she most certainly hoped she wasn’t suspecting Ryan to have something to do with her father’s death!

“Ryan,” she began softly. Her voice felt coarse and dry after all the crying the previous night and the silence they kept themselves in all the way as they walked back from the school.

Ryan turned, as if on cue, and planted a long and affectionate kiss on Tori’s forehead. “I’m sorry you have to experience all this, Tor, I love you,” he spoke into her ear gently. Ryan then turned and ran off, leaving Tori confused and puzzled.


Tori pushed the key into her front door and turned the knob gingerly, she had no idea if her mom saw the news or read the papers, but she was about to find out.

She walked briskly across the carpeted grounds of her living room and passed LeAnne’s bedroom. The door was ajar, and she heard sobs.

Tori peeked into the room carefully and saw her mom curled up in a corner on her bed, newspaper pages strewn everywhere and weeping over a picture of the loving couple taken a few months back.

“Mom?” Tori called softly. She thought she heard her mom say something. “Mom, are you okay?” she called again, edging a little closer to the bed.

“Leave me alone,” LeAnne said a little bit louder and turned her face further away from Tori. Tori picked up a torn piece of newspaper from the floor and took a few steps towards her mother.

“I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!” LeAnne bellowed between sobs, aggravated and helpless, flinging the photo frame that once kept all the fond memories of her sweetheart and herself out of her grip and watching it smash into pieces on the floor.

Tori cringed, steering clear of the shards of flying glass. Tears welled up in her eyes as she turned to leave the room.

“Look at him,” her mother said abruptly with a strained voice, apparently hoarse after hours of crying since the previous night.

“What?” Tori turned to look at her mother.

“Look at what he was doing!” she sobbed even harder.

Tori lifted up the newspaper she was holding and saw the picture her mother was referring to. It was a blurred picture taken by a photographer from her school who originally intended to capture the most vibrant moment of the prom. And then, right at the centre of the picture, a familiar back invaded her mind. The recognizable body, caught in mid-air, was captured as he tore across the road. On the top left hand corner of the image was Tori herself, facing ninety degrees anti-clockwise the direction her father was going. Bliss was written all over her face as she rested in the arms of Ryan, whom she assumed, was on the other side of the picture where it got cut off.

Ryan must’ve seen dad running across the road, Tori thought as she put down the paper, he must have. He should’ve seen it from the direction he was facing - he saw dad running so dangerously – he saw what happened and yet he did nothing to stop him! Tori moved a few steps back from the bed where her mother lay on. I need to talk to him.

“He was running towards you,” LeAnne finally turned unexpectedly and looked Tori directly in the eye. It wasn’t a look. It was a complete glare, a glare full of hatred, detest, despise and hurt. “He wanted to tell you something. He saw you with Ryan, he knew!”

Tori returned her mother a look of ridicule, “What’re you trying to say?” Is she trying to –

“You know what I mean, honey.” LeAnne shook her head slightly and turned away.

Oh yes, of course I do, Tori took her leave and slammed her door shut furiously. She couldn’t believe it – first the oh-so-wise psychologist, and now this. LeAnne thought Tori caused her father’s death, and if it were not for Tori and her ‘make-believe’ friend Ryan, her father wouldn’t have died. This is stupid, Tori thought as she picked up her phone and dialed Ryan’s number. They had to talk.

“Hi! Ryan speaking,” came Ryan’s familiar voice. Normally Tori would return a cheerful “hullo”, but the case was different then.

“You saw it,” she began uncertainly, her voice shaking. “You – you saw what happened, didn’t you?” The other end of the line went silent. Ryan heard her, she was sure. He was thinking, he was thinking about how he was going to put things across to her without causing much pain. She thought the bad news was finally going to break out; she was going to wake up from this dream.

“Tori, listen. I can only say that I’m sorry,” that was Ryan’s final reply. That was all, nothing else was heard. Tori hated this; she hated it when it felt like Ryan was hiding something from her. His voice was cold, cruel and mild, and yet there was a hint of sincerity in it. Tori wasn’t prepared for this feeling of ambiguity, her uncertainty grew into fury and hurt.

“You saw dad running across the street and you let him did it!” Tori screamed into the phone finally. She stopped beating about the bush and let her exact words flow. “You let him die, Ryan, you let my father die!” Along with that millions of other accusations popped up in her mind.

“Tori – ”

“Shut up!” she interrupted impatiently, “I don’t want to hear another word from you, Ryan. I was wrong about you.” And with that, she put down the phone.

A piece of her soul broke free, withered and died.

She hugged her pillow and let the long-held tears flow, tears that contained memories, emotions, feelings that she missed. And they were about to be forgotten for good. Ryan had entered her heart too deeply; it was hard to forget him. She cried and sobbed, about Ryan, about her father’s death, and about her mom. Her life was turned upside down; she had lost both of the most important men in her life, and was stuck with a mother who refused to believe her no matter what.

She was hurt.


When she woke up, it was already five in the evening. She had fallen asleep after crying so hard in the afternoon. Her stomach growled. She sat up on her bed and stayed there for awhile. Her mom should be cooking dinner by now.

She got out of bed and made her way to the stairs. The house was silent, the air was still. She passed by LeAnne’s room and seeing that the door was closed, she walked towards the stairs. Peering down, she realized that the lights were off, the living room was completely dark, and it didn’t look like her mother was doing anything in the kitchen. It didn’t even look like there was anyone downstairs.

Mom couldn’t have gone out, she thought to herself and walked to her mother’s room door. Getting slightly worried, she knocked on the door a few times. Maybe she shouldn’t had walked out on her mother that afternoon – her father’s death must have had already caused a huge impact on her mom. She shouldn’t have built on her burden further.

Getting no response from inside, she knocked again, this time a little bit harder. Mom could be asleep too, she tried to reassure herself. Still getting no answer, she tried the doorknob. She started to panic on realizing that it was locked. She tried turning it a few more times and gave up on it. She wasn’t going to break down the door; she shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions at a time like this. Anxious, she hurried downstairs to the place where all the room keys were kept. There were a total of six keys in the drawer – she didn’t recall having so many rooms in her house, but she couldn’t care about that for the time being.

“That’s mine,” she said as she separated her own room key from the rest of the pile, “And those are … ” Five keys were left, and she realized that it would take a long time trying to figure out which one opens the door to her mom’s room because the keys weren’t labeled.

“Geez!” she spat, exasperated. Desperate, she grabbed the whole bunch of keys and raced upstairs. She tried each key frantically, listening intently to hear the click sound that signaled the unlocking of the door. When it reached the last of the five keys, she said a quick prayer and shoved the key into the keyhole. She knew that it was her last chance. This was the last key, and it might or might not open the door. There was a good chance that it would, though, but she couldn’t be sure, considering the fact that she wasn’t certain if all the keys were there. For one, she didn’t even know there were six pairs of keys. She expected lesser, so apparently it meant that there could be more keys scattered around the house in places that she never bothered looking. And one of them could be the one to her mother’s room.

“Alright, if this one doesn’t work, I’m going to break down this door,” she said, shivering slightly at the thought that things were indeed not right.

Pausing for a second, she took a breath and turned.

Click.

With anticipation building up within her, she pushed the door open anxiously. Her anticipation vaporized almost instantly.


“Ryan, I need you now,” she spoke into the phone through frightened sobs. She felt chills running down her spine, as she got engulfed by a world of misery.

“I – I’m coming over,” Ryan told her, and then the line went dead.

Tori released the phone and left it hanging by its cords. She slid down her table and sat on the floor, tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked at her mother out of the corner of her eye and buried her head between her knees, feeling a whirlwind of emotions in her head. Her world was spinning, things were falling apart – she was torn into pieces. She lifted up her head and crawled towards her mom. She put a trembling hand on her mother’s cheeks and stroked lovingly. Her face was pale, her lips were cracked, and her skin felt cold. Bottles of opened pills were everywhere. Somewhere near the bottom of the bed, there was a note. There was only one word on it, and yet it made Tori’s heart turn cold. The idea of her mother struggling between the borders of life and death and still trying to write the one single word “Sorry” scared her. LeAnne was clutching the photograph of Brad and herself on her chest and the nearest to her heart when she died, she must have had picked it up from the shards of broken glass earlier in the afternoon. She loved dad deeply, Tori felt her swollen eyes let out another drop of tear. She took a good look at her mother, her peaceful, soulless mother. LeAnne was old, tired and she had let everything go. Her death could be a good thing for her, it was about relief; it was about ending it all.

Inhaling sharply and turning her head away, Tori felt hot tears sting her eyes. She felt responsible for her mother’s death, she shouldn’t have left her alone in the room, she shouldn’t have gotten mad at her – she shouldn’t have done so many things she now regretted so severely. It pained her heart to see her mother in this state.

And so she screamed. She screamed, she yelled, and she cried. She let it out all at once, all her frustrations, anger, depression and long-suppressed emotions. She screamed again and again, feeling the veins expand and tighten around her temples.

“Tori!” Ryan appeared suddenly at the door. He froze for a minute when he saw LeAnne’s body on the floor, but recovered quickly. Tori looked up with her teary eyes. Their eyes met. Ryan then ran over and helped Tori up, holding her frail and stiff body against his own. “Tori, are you alright?”

“How did you get in here?” Tori asked quietly, still in a daze.

“I, uh –” Ryan thought for awhile, and changed the subject. “Have you called 911?”

“No.”

“Well then let’s do that,” Ryan grabbed the dangling phone from the table and explained the situation to the officer on the other end of the line, still holding Tori tight. He wanted her to feel more secure than anyone else in the world no matter what happens.

Putting down the phone, he whispered gently in her ear, “It’ll be okay.” He gave Tori’s hand a quick but firm squeeze. Tori stared into space blankly. She couldn’t feel anything else other than the warmth in the room that remained from before her mother died – the air her mom once breathed, the clotted blood by her lips that once ran through her veins, the piece of paper with the “Sorry” on it that once felt warm against LeAnne’s skin. Tori closed her eyes, putting her weight on Ryan, and shut down all her other senses. She felt her mom’s presence. Her dad was there too. Both of them stood, smiling, and looking at their daughter adoringly. She reached out to them. Take me away, she pleaded, stretching out her hand. And then in a second, they vanished. They were gone.

Next, a flurry of activities went on. There were people banging on the front door, and then the bangers came in, talked to Ryan, attempted to talk to Tori, and they’d picked up LeAnne’s delicate and lifeless body. They’d took her away, and when the cars drove off, it was already sunset.

The two stood on the balcony, watching the sunset. The giver of warmth gave out bright orange rays that marked the end of another day, setting steadily behind the hued clouds, tranquil and peaceful. Ryan had his arm around Tori, but no words were spoken.

By the time the sun completely set, Ryan gave Tori a quick hug and held her hand, “Come on, Tor. Let’s go grab a bite. It’s been a long day.”


Tori walked down the silent hallways of her house, examining every photograph of her family that she saw on the table and hanging on the walls. She walked into her own room and looked around. Fond memories broke into her mind. She touched the walls and let her palm linger. Brad had painted these walls when she was very, very young, a few days before Christmas. Her palm moved onto a pot of plant sitting on the wooden stand by the other end of the wall. Her mother had grown these plants, nourished them with her green fingers, and showered them in love.

Suddenly, someone grabbed her by her waist from behind. She felt the familiar warmth that radiated from his body, as the comforting smell that flooded into her nose. She turned and held Ryan tightly. He lifted her chin with a finger gently and put his mouth onto hers tenderly. He let her hands wind around his neck and held her close. He wanted this moment to last. He knew the time was near, he wanted the both of them share this instant together.

After awhile, he drew his head back and glanced at Tori intensely in her eyes. “Tori, my love,” he began. “I have to go.”

Tori frowned slightly and put her hand onto his cheeks, “But you just came, can’t you stay a little longer?”

Ryan felt tears swirling in his eyes. Tori, the first girl he had ever loved, the one and only girl he would ever love. He loved her so much, he loved her innocence, he loved her naivety, and he loved every bit of her soul. She was so beautiful to him. He swallowed and tried to make it clearer to Tori, “I have to go, and – you won’t see me again.”

Tori’s eyes widened a little, as if finally understanding what he was trying to put across. “Where’re you going?” she asked, alarmed and taking a step backwards. “Are you leaving me? For – for good? What – why is this happening? Why do I feel like I’m losing all the people who’re the closest to my heart – first my dad, then my mom, and now you? What is this? This is unacceptable! What are you trying to –”

“Listen, Tori,” Ryan pulled her back close and spoke into her ear. “It’s time for me to go; I don’t have much time left. I just want you to know that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’ll remember all the times we had together, and you’ll still have my promise that I’ll always be there for you, whether you see me or not. I’m sorry for everything that happened, and – I love you, Tori, I love you, more than anything else in the world. You’re everything to me, really, and I will never, ever forget you. Whatever happens, I’ll always be one of the brightest stars in the skies watching over you, and you can look for me up there.” He looked at Tori and winked, smiling his ever-so-cute lopsided smile.

Slowly, he thrust something into her hands.

Tori held it up – it was a locket in the shape of a heart. She looked at Ryan, who gestured for her to open it. She did as she was expected to, and there was a picture of him placed safely inside.

Tori was completely lost. Her heart was broken into a million pieces – she wanted to shout, complain, and whine like a little kid, but this time it was different. Something told her that all these were not important. All that mattered was the moment the two of them were sharing right that instant, and she wasn’t about to let it go. She was about to say something when Ryan put a silencing finger onto her lip, and held her tight.

The room was dark and slightly chilly, but they felt warm. They were close to each other; their hearts were passionate and burning with love. They stood in the room, embracing, silent and still. Time seemed to have stopped, as the rest of the world moved on, leaving them frolicking in a time that would soon become their past. Tori did not know what was going to happen. At that moment, all she knew was that she loved Ryan, and she was sure that her feelings were returned. She couldn’t care less about the rest of the world – her family was gone, she had no family, and right now all she had was Ryan.

Next was a gust of wind; the gust of wind that Tori would remember so vividly for the rest of her life. When the wind penetrated the curtains, making them fly up like an inflated balloon, she felt Ryan’s grip around her loosen. Ryan opened his eyes. He felt the feeling slipping away – he knew it was time. He was ready, he was prepared, but he just wanted more time with his favourite girl. He felt his vision blurring, and he saw Tori’s look of concern written all over her face. Tori grabbed his shoulders tightly, and suddenly, Ryan started to glow faintly. She looked at his feet – they weren’t there anymore, his whole body was dissolving into oblivion! Helpless, Tori called his name continuously, but there was no voice. Millions of different emotions swept over her as she fought to press her lips onto his, giving him their last long and passionate kiss. Tears rolled down her cheeks against her will as her hands went right through his dissolving body. “Tori, cherish everything you have,” Ryan said as Tori felt her tears coming back.

“I love you,” he mouthed, still grinning lovingly, as he faded away into the dark and calm night sky, with Tori chasing after his disappearing glow with flailing hands.

When the house was serene again, she dropped onto her knees and stared into space blankly.

“RYAN!” Tori screamed towards the direction of the heavens, her voice echoing throughout the house. And when she realized that he wasn’t there anymore, she let her shoulders fall as she spoke softly to no one in particular, “I love you too.”

She lay backwards onto the floor and closed her eyes, letting the familiar feeling take over her.

Cherish everything you have.


“Tori, Tori sweetie,” the unmistakable voice woke Tori. She opened her eyes and after blinking a few times, her vision became clear. Standing before her were the two most familiar faces to her in the entire world, the two faces she had missed so dearly, the two faces she had been so reluctant to let go – she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. LeAnne gave her a small hug as her father played with her fondly. “Merry Christmas, my little angel,” Brad leaned over and gave a peck on Tori’s cheeks.

Mom! And dad! Tori looked at her parents, astonished, shocked, and speechless. Her mother was young again, with the most ‘in’ hairstyle then, and her father – he had no grey hair, and he looked handsome in his winter turtleneck. Her gaze shifted to another person behind them – Aunt Abigail! Tori had forgotten about her all these while, the person who loved her like a little princess.

“Merry Christmas,” LeAnne kissed Tori lightly on her forehead and let her snuggle in her arms.

Christmas? Tori wondered if all that had happened were a dream, she wondered if Ryan ever appeared in her life – the idea of everything being just a fragment of her imagination made her heart sink. It was nearly impossible, all these couldn’t possibly be all part of a four-year-old’s dreams. But nonetheless, she loved her parents more than ever. She was beyond elated to be back here, in her tiny cot listening to the Christmas carols. And most importantly, her parents were back where they were, her misery was over.

“I told you she would love to be around you guys, look at how happy she is!” Aunt Abigail told her parents proudly, as she gave Tori a nice pat on her head. It felt good to be loved – and it definitely feels good to be back here, Tori thought. But there was someone that she missed, the person whom she wanted to see the most. He was gone.

Suddenly, Aunt Abigail took a step forward and stuck her head into her cot, “Look at what she’s holding, you two!” she used her hands to pry open Tori’s gently, revealing a glistening silver locket, where all the memories were kept safely. “A locket – where did you get that, Tori?”

Tori widened her eyes, returning her an innocent look.

“It wasn’t there when I tucked her in,” Brad said as he tried to take it from her. Tori closed her fingers defensively, and that got a chuckle out of Brad.

“Alright, alright, sweetie, you can keep that as your toy. Treat that as your Christmas present, then.” He leaned down and pinched Tori’s nose playfully, making her giggle with glee. “So how’s your Christmas coming along, little one?”

Tori clutched her locket more tightly than ever, feeling its smooth metal exterior, its heartbeat and its warmth. She tilted her head towards the mesmerizing night sky, and smiled.

Wonderful, she thought, just wonderful.

Somewhere in the distance, a star sparkled.