So I can't click on any graves or urns. They should have mourn and move I think? I thought it must be some conflicting mods but even with my entire download folder out I still can't click on them.
I may have to look into other folders but I can't think what would cause this, any ideas?

Have you tried resetting your game? Move your "The Sims 2" folder to your desktop and start the game. Let it create all the Maxis neighborhoods etc. and then exit and copy your neighborhood and Downloads folder back into it. This sometimes helps with odd symptoms like that.

This shows in a couple of folders, and two hoods with graves. One is Meetme's Pleasantview Goth house (where I noticed it first) in my Ubber hood folder and the New Arlistown hood from here in my test folder. I assume others will too, but I don't have graves in Coral Bay. I'm going to guess it's some strange thing, like modular stairs in my scriptorium or something really odd. I will make another folder but I have a feeling that won't help after seeing it in two folders.

Just adding: I have found a buyable grave in my M&G Bins where I have all my extracted objects, I am going to try and remove the two files.