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Scholar
Original Poster
#1 Old 10th Apr 2010 at 9:19 PM
Default Esteban/Deb (before the dance)
Because I didn't want to feel rushed through this in the main thread (and I didn't want to keep anyone waiting), I figured I'd start a small offshoot thread for Esteban/Deb hanging out before the dance. This happens earlier on the day of the dance. Not much else to say... so let's get to it.



As far as the homos went, Esteban had no intention of blabbing any time soon. That was just crazy talk. The moment he did, he lost a whole future of emotional and financial extortion, and it's not like the opportunity like this came every day. No, it was a once-in-a-lifetime sort of thing, a coincidence that left him thinking he's the luckiest bastard alive and that, yes. Miracles do happen.

So when buttfucker #1 didn't agree to play by his rules, he went to buttfucker #2 and made him take the fall. He laid it on thick and then demanded money for his silence. In his head, he figured about $100/week was reasonable, which meant he better ask for twice as much... with a little bonus to make up for his boyfriend's quiet rebellion.

That was yesterday. Today, he has his thoughts on the dance. When the clock hits four, he puts his paycheck in his pocket and cuts outta work early cause he'll need it after the walk to the bus stop, the wait, and the stop-and-go ride to the nearest stop to his apartments.

A little over an hour later, he steps off the bus with his hands stuffed in his pocket and walks home. On the way, he passes by the dilapidated park where the little brown kids come out of the woodwork to kick around a soccer ball and play on some ghetto-ass swings and slides and shit. He's surprised no one's gotten tetanus from playing there. A stray ball flies his way, and he stops it on his chest, kicks it back, and the kids thank him and he nods and keeps going.

When he gets home, he takes a cold shower and washes off the machine grease and gets the black out from under his nails. He dries off and picks up a bottle of cologne from the counter, looking at it like a caveman with a lighter. He holds it at an arm's length and sprays it once at his chest. Hesitates. Thinks. Points it below his waist, sprays it once more, and puts it away. Even if nothing happens, it never hurts to smell good, right?

Esteban wraps a towel around his waist, heads out of the bathroom, and plops down on the couch. Marissa was gone, so she wouldn't bite his head off for being one ratty towel away from rubbing his balls over everything. He digs around for the remote, flips on the tube, and watches a boxing match as he rubs his hair dry. Then, he scrounges up a pair of clean, dark jeans, some lightly used white sneakers, and a black dress shirt. One look in the mirror tells him he could use a haircut, so he slaps on a cap instead. This is as "formal" as he gets.

Then, he picks up his wallet, makes sure it has a rubber inside, and stuff it into his pocket along with a few cigs, a lighter, and where the hell were his keys? He searches around the coffee table, the nightstand, the bathroom, and finally finds them in his backpack. Before he leaves, he picks up a pair of wrinkled, dirty pants from the floor, digs into the pockets, and finds Deb's address inside. He checks it for a few seconds before folding it into his back pocket and leaving.

He arrives at Deb's unit and rings the bell. A little while later the door opens her father answers the door. From the glimpse of her apartment that Esteban could see behind her dad, it looks about as messy as his own place. The father regards Esteban suspiciously and then mutters dismissively, "Not buying anything."

As he closes the door on him, Esteban sticks his foot over the threshold and blocks it open. He asks unfazed, "Is Deb home?"

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#2 Old 12th Apr 2010 at 4:22 PM Last edited by lanawinst : 12th Apr 2010 at 5:38 PM.
Default Esteban/Deb (before the dance)


Shit

A quick glance was enough to realize how messy the apartment had gotten while she was gone. There was even pastel crayoning on the walls. Lucas must had run out of paper. A grumpy voice came from the couch where her father had collapsed, immersed in a stupid reality show:

“You're late”

Deborah was already in a shitty mood, and this wasn't helping. It had been a shitty day filled with rude costumers and a moody boss who wouldn't let her go. She rolled her eyes. Yeah, well, it was certainly not on purpose but there it was again, her least favorite but most used word :

"Sorry"

As unwelcoming as her father had been, another person was actually glad to see her and as soon as he caught sight of her, Lucas had dropped his previous activities to raise himself unsteadily to his feat, stumbling toward her. Her lips split as she offered him a wide smile and catching him, and lifting him up in her arms, she began questioned him : "Hey! How's my favorite boy? Daddy took good care of you? You've been nice to him, right? And you took all your meds?", while every interrogation was being answered by a solemn nod. She smooched playfully his cheek dragging a smile out of him. He raised his needy eyes into her own:

" Will you play with me?"

Having to say no was a bit heartbreaking and the though of not going to the dance went through her brain before being pushed back. No, she couldn't change her mind now anyway. And besides it was probably selfish but she did wanted to go and enjoy a little bit of time for herself too. She answered uneasily:

"Sorry Luke. I can't. But tomorrow, I'll be all yours, all right?"

And as he nodded once more she put him back on the floor and headed toward the bathroom zigzagging to avoid the traps laid all the way, determined to enjoy a much-needed shower, and getting rid of the stinky deep-frying smell that impregnated her. And a short while later, casually dressed with a pair of jeans and an Henley top she was standing hesitantly in front of her dresser. Nope, a perfect prom slash princess dress didn't appeared by magic. That means she had to settle with something else. She finally grabbed an old dress that she had used once last year and packed it away in her bag. It was better than nothing. Now she had to do something for her still a tad wet and unruly hair...

“Deborah!”

Her father's shout got her out of her thoughts, overriding the loud sound of her music. What time was it? Her eyes raised upon the clock. Shit

“Yeah?”, she asked reluctantly. The request formulated by her dear father came fast:

“Grab me a beer”

Great! It's not like I'm already running late. He was not in a good mood and she needed him to be if not in good mood, at least not worse than now, so after exhaling a deep sigh she complied, catching as much toys as she could on her way to throw them into the cardboard box that was trailing behind the living couch and acted as the toy box. And as she gave it to him a forced smiled stretched her lips, out of reflex. Smiling came naturally to her but after days like this one she felt like it was like a mask she had to carve onto her face, some kind of meaningless automatism. Whether it was the apologetic smile to make up for a late dish, the nice smile to bait and keep the costumer that had to evolve from gracious to knowing or even sometimes enticing depending of the target or the perfunctory smile it always seemed to come down to that. Smiling. The appeasing smile was maybe the one she mastered the most, due to a long practice at home.

She quickly came back to her room hoping to finally get ready fast. What was she doing? Oh yes, the hair. After some brooding she chose to pick it up and she twisted them freely before tying them into a nice but still casual enough ponytail.

“Deborah!”

What now... She replied trying to sound not too irritated: "What?"

"Come here!"

As she obediently once more proceed to the living, someone else that she didn't expected to be here had made an appearance. Esteban.

As she was absorbed by her hairstyle, a ring had been heard at their door. It was a very much annoyed to be disturbed while he was busy man who opened partway the door to greet the unwelcome visitor. Esteeming that it was probably one of this fuckers who had nothing better to do than knocking at every door to piss everyone off with their shit, he had grumbled "Not buying anything" before attempting to close the door. But that doesn't seemed to impress one bit the guy who had wedged the door and questioned:

"Is Deb home?"

Deb's father brows had grown together with distrust but after a close and lengthy inspection he finally opened the door allowing him to enter the room. Letting the door open to clearly signify that he was not here for long, he had crossed his arms on his chest and called for Deb who was now standing in front of them, trying to conceal her surprise, uncertain of what to say. What was he doing here? She never said to meet her here, hasn't she? And how long had he been there? Did he talked to her dad about the dance? Shit

Realizing that standing there doing nothing would be even more suspicious than anything she could say and quickly making up her mind she moved forward and greeted him with the brightest smile she could pulled thinking that it was finally a good thing that she had so much practice:

"Hey! " and preying on the fact that his clothes were casual enough not to hint her father about the dance and hoping that he hadn't already blurted out anything about it, addressing her father and indirectly Esteban, she pressed on "Dad, this is Esteban, who's here for the study night I'm going to"

((OOC: Sorry, a bit messy. In case you're wondering about the hair and the dress ))
Scholar
Original Poster
#3 Old 16th Apr 2010 at 7:13 AM


Her father shot Esteban a distrustful look and reluctantly opened the door to let him inside. His eyes scanned the apartment over, from one bare wall to the other and over the littered floor, and he took it all in.

Her father shoots him a distrustful look before reluctantly opening the door and turning away from him. Esteban steps in and looks the apartment over from wall to wall and across the littered floor. He frowns and takes it all in, getting an idea of what kind of people live in a dump like this.

"Hey," he hears Deb greet him with a twinge of hesitation in her voice. He looks up to meet her, and... she's not wearing a skirt to the dance? No way... he must be early or something. He conceals his surprise behind his slight frown while she blurts to her father, "Dad, this is Esteban, who's here for the study night I'm going to."

A practiced liar, it takes Esteban less than a second to register the cover-up lie, and he acts naturally. He nods at her dad without really smiling. He breathes an acknowledgement, "Hey," and he keeps it casual. Like, I'm just a friend and not trying to wine-and-dine your daughter casual. Then he turns to Deb and asks impatiently, "So, are you ready yet? Everyone's waitin' on us."

As she responds, he shifts on his feet and accidentally kicks a toy train. It tumbles over and rattles. He glances down, picks it up, and furrows his brows. "Is this your brother's?"

((OOC: Sorry about the wait... I had trouble deciding on the tone and reaction and everything and just wasn't sure where to take it... ahh! Hope it works ))

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#4 Old 17th Apr 2010 at 11:15 PM Last edited by lanawinst : 17th Apr 2010 at 11:32 PM.

Deborah's father traits had already softened while after a laid-back nod, Esteban eagerly inquired :

"So, are you ready yet? Everyone's waitin' on us."

She couldn't say if he was eager to leave because he was truly annoyed by the fact that they were late or if this was intended to help them get out of here faster. In any case, what she mainly felt at this moment was a huge relief as he almost instantly understood what was going and played along nicely. Surprisingly well, even. She directed to him her famous apologetic smile:

"I know, sorry. Lemme just grab my stuff and take care of things real quick before taking off"

She was already turning her back on him to get ready when she heard the noise of something getting crushed and quickly turning back to see what just happened, she saw Esteban holding Lucas' train between his hands. There seemed to be a pattern here. He consistently tries to break their stuff, but fortunately, this time, his victim had much more resistance and was still alive. She shot a embarrassed glance around. It was such a mess. No wonders he'd walk on a toy. The perpetrator frowned before questioning:

"Is this your brother's?"

She was almost about to apologize about it but kinda fed up of taking responsibility for everything even when she'd nothing to feel guilty about she changed her mind. Is this your brother? Who could it be? Her father's? Hers? After such a brilliant deduction, she owed him an appropriate reply and she answered in half-serious tone :

"No it's mine. I just love to play with my train and scatter my toys everywhere so that people can stumble on it"

A silly question deserve a silly answer, right? And this might lighten up a bit the tension - she shot a look at her father, who, after repossessing his precious beer, were standing there, flitting a sidelong glance from Esteban to her - or not. She knew this face. Something was bothering him and he couldn't get what exactly. It was time to get the hell out of here. All right, I need... keys. Where are the damn car keys?

Deborah pointed out by a slight nod the little curly head that had popped out from behind the couch where he was standing, firmly gripping the arm of the couch, staring at her with the puzzled face that the little ones make when they hear grownups, presumably inexhaustible source of wisdom talking nonsense, while correcting, a twinkle illuminating her dark eyes :

"Yeah, it's Lucas' train"

And as she was already heading toward the kitchen corner to finally uncover the keys from under some newspaper on the table and processing about what should be her next move, she was politely following through with the conversation by gently requesting to Lucas who was now staring inquisitively at the unexpected guest :

"Luke, be polite and say hi"

Let's see, she had they keys, her bag was all set in her room, the cleaning could wait, that left her with only Lucas medication to take care off. She was not keen on doing it in front of Esteban but if she was leaving without preparing it there was almost a fifty-fifty for her father to forget about it and she was not willing to take that chance. Turning her back she was hastily and discreetly getting out of their blister the required pills while the little boy obediently flashed the stranger a faint smile:

"Hi"

((OOC: I wasn't sure about how to go with it either. I hope it'll work for you ))
Scholar
Original Poster
#5 Old 20th Apr 2010 at 4:53 AM

"No it's mine. I just love to play with my train and scatter my toys everywhere so that people can stumble on it."

Esteban tsks and chides, "You know, if you spent a little less time playin' round with your toys and a little more studying, you might have those differential equations down by now." He grins at her smugly, knowing that there was no way she was gonna protest and blow their cover... not while he was playing along with the pretense she'd established.

A head of dark curly hair peeks out from behind the couch, and as if on cue, Deb drops the act and confirms, "Yeah, it's Lucas' train."

She navigates around the mess of the apartment into the kitchen, and as she rummages around for whatever it is that chicks spend so much time doing before going out, she counsels her brother, "Luke, be polite and say hi."

"Hi."

"Hey, wassup little man?" Esteban greets casually, like the little kid is already one of the bro's. He puts the broken train on a nearby bookshelf that's already over-cluttered with miscellaneous items.

For a moment, Lucas looks confused at how to respond, then he shrugs, "Umm... not much. Just watching tv."

Esteban gives him an evaluating tilt of his head, and responds with a lukewarm, "Cool...." He steps up to the couch and leans against the back.

"So, you like trains and shi--" He catches himself as he's swearing and glances at their father to check if he's in trouble. Unfazed, he keeps talking and corrects himself, "Uh... I mean, you like trains?"

"Yeah, they're okay."

"Well, what about cars?"

The keep chatting on the sofa to pass the time as Deb gets ready. It doesn't take her too long, and when she finishes whatever it was she was doing, Esteban looks up from the conversation and asks, "You ready now?"

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#6 Old 23rd Apr 2010 at 7:56 PM Last edited by lanawinst : 23rd Apr 2010 at 8:22 PM.

Their father settled the swearing matter with an irritated look before raising his beer to his mouth and pulling it out edgily straight away as he realized that it was empty. He walked heavily to the kitchen to grab a beer passing Deborah who was still busy preparing her brother medication and plunking down on one of the kitchen chair he resumed his silent glare between two gulps of beer.

Her task soon over, Deborah rushed into her room, came out with her bag on her shoulder and as she approached the couch, the sight of the two boys chatting on it dragged a soft smile out of her lips. It was nice to see Lucas opening up a little and judging by his bright eyes he was probably thrilled to have a friendly guy talk. It's hard to make friends when you're a timorous little boy who most of the time can't partake in any of their games because of his illness. Children could be very mean to each other, especially when the other kid was different and defenseless and after picking him up from school without his shoes on several times she suspected that he was also being bullied and talking to the teacher about it had not solved anything. Aware of her presence, Esteban turned his gaze back to her and inquired:

"You ready now?"

Deborah opened her mouth but the answer never got out as her father suddenly thrust in scolding off-the-cuff:

"She's not ready until I say so. And she's not."

Deborah features stiffened at this sudden burst. As feared her father had reached the boiling point. What was that about? A sudden need of reaffirming his authority? Holding her breath she raised an inquisitive look at him which he answered by another burst:

"You're not leaving that table like that! How are we supposed to eat with all that crap?" She slightly frowned, restraining an irritated snort. That was clearly a pretext. How many times did they just ate on the couch, even when the table was cleared. And it wasn't even her own mess. But that was not over as he bitterly went-on "And who do you think is going to take care of it? Your damn brother? The only thing that stupid kid can do is being a waste"

As long as he was going after her, it was humiliating but nothing she couldn't handle whereas lashing out against her brother was not something that she was able to overlook as easily. A sparkle of raw anger gleamed from her eyes and pursing her lips in an effort not to spill out any retort and avoiding her father's glare, her eyes met Esteban's ones and narrowed with disquiet as she realized that he was about to snap back. If he did, she had no idea how exactly her father would react to whatever he was about to say but she was sure of one thing: It would probably get out of hand. And in a desperate attempt to stop an undesirable chain of events before it happens she maintained her gaze into his own tacitly begging him not to intervene. To her great relief the following silence proved that her efforts hadn't been in vain and she briskly turned over to the kitchen and after whipping the plates off the table to the sink, she cleared it by piling up all the junk to put it in the trash. Then, turning back to face her father, she curtly asked:

"Can I go now?"

After a brief reflexion he nodded and shooting Esteban a tell-tale glare Deborah began heading off before he could change his mind.
Scholar
Original Poster
#7 Old 28th Apr 2010 at 5:59 AM
((I'm really sleep deprived and having trouble thinking and finding Esteban's character. I hope this makes sense!))


Just as they’re about to leave, her father jumps in. "She's not ready until I say so. And she's not. "You're not leaving that table like that! How are we supposed to eat with all that crap?"

Unlike other kids, Esteban’s never seen parents as parents—untouchable authority figures. People are people and parents are people, complete with all the flaws and insecurities and personal failings. Especially the personal failings. He’d learned the last all too well from his own parents.

So from the look on her dad’s face and the way he suddenly cuts in and lays down the law, he figures out pretty quickly he’s just another asshole pissing on his territory. What’s more, his only daughter goes out to a study group with a guy he’s never met before, and the thing he’s worried about is how clean the kitchen table is? Either he’s clueless or completely fucked up or it’s a smoke-screen for his pencil-dicked insecurity, and Esteban’s willing to put money on the last option.

He’s making himself feel big and important by barking at others, and that much is obvious from the way Deb’s countenance falls as he scolds her.

“And who do you think is going to take care of it? Your damn brother? The only thing that stupid kid can do is being a waste"

Oh fuck no. Picking on kids before their balls had even dropped was low. No ifs ands or buts about it. And from the way Luke’s shoulders slump and he draws into himself at the comment, there’s no way Esteban’s gonna let that slide.

He opens his mouth, about to blurt out the first thing that comes to his mind, when he catches the pleading look on Deb’s face and stops. A second later, as he watches Deb silently accede to his orders, he regrets it. And with a bitter taste in his throat, he watches Deb finish cleaning, and she asks curtly: “Can I go now?”

Her dad lets her sweat it out by pausing before he nods at her. Shortly after, her dad shoots Esteban a glare, and meets it with rebellious smirk. He wasn’t gonna be intimidated.

Esteban turns to Luke and says, “Talk to you later, buddy,” as he stands up and gets the door. He waits for Deb to pass through it before he steps outside behind her. As the door is closing, he waits until it’s a couple inches away from being completely shut and loudly blurts,

“You’re dad’s a fucking asshole, huh?”

The door clicks shut the second he finishes speaking. He knows his voice was loud enough to carry inside the apartment, but as soon as the door shuts, that’s it. No way her dad was gonna chase them out to the front landing and start bitching about it, right?

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#8 Old 2nd May 2010 at 11:41 PM Last edited by lanawinst : 3rd May 2010 at 2:50 PM.


Despite her apparent lack of reaction, Deborah was fulminating inwardly. Having to slavishly bend to his will in front of Esteban after what her father just did when every inches of her being had been screaming against it had demanded a tremendous amount of self control and he wouldn't have needed to push her much harder for her to implode and assess him a few good old home truths despite the dreaded consequences that would have followed. How could he say such things? And who did he think he was? He was just a fucking big fat git, bloated with self-importance who was so damn sure that she wouldn’t cross any line he’d drawn. How little he knew... A waste. Right. And that was said by someone who couldn't even lift his fucking ass from the couch to grab a beer. Who's the waste, huh?

"You’re dad’s a fucking asshole, huh?"

Esteban vocal interjection snapped her out of her rant and as she heard the clicking sound of the closing door she turned back. Did he really said that before closing the door? She was close to him, so, there was no need to say that so loudly unless... she was not the one who he wanted to reach. And he must have heard it. She shot a quick apprehensive glance at the door, almost expecting to see her dad bumping out of it. But nothing happened and the door stayed closed. Not really wanting to wait to see if that'd stay that way she started to move away from it.And as her gaze swept from the door to the floor, still too upset to wish to cross Esteban's gaze, she gave in to the compulsory and unexplainable need to defend her father, the same person that she's just been flaming the minute before and started to reply in a bugged voice :

"He's just..." She stopped abruptly. What was she doing? Was she really about to give him excuses? And by saying what? That he was like that because he lost everything and now he thought that without his son he'd still have his wife, his job, his house? His life? And he probably wished he’d never been born but that was ok? That was not. None of this was excusable. It was just an easy way not to take any responsibility on their downfall by rejecting all the blame on someone else. And why was she even answering to that! It wasn't even directed to her. She discontentedly shook her head, letting a frustrated groan escape her lips before snapping: "nevermind".

And as she finally managed to somehow pull herself together, she lifted an inquisitive sight on Esteban. She had rarely felt so exposed and now she was kinda taking it out on him whereas he had done nothing to deserve that. God, she'd been such a mess and he just seemed to had gone through this unruffled. It was pretty impressive considering how rude and scowling her father had been. Sure, the worst had not been directed on him even if he had been somehow the triggering factor but she knew she would have felt really uncomfortable, to the least, if the situation had been reversed. And he even would have come to her brother's rescue if it hadn't been for her interference and now she felt that itchy feeling that she kinda owed him. Deborah exhaled a weary sigh and conceded:

"Sorry about... you know.... that"

Apologies done. Now, if only he could have a short selective memory and just forget about all this, that would be perfect.

((OOC:Not so good, Sorry. Tell me if it needs editing ))
Scholar
Original Poster
#9 Old 13th May 2010 at 10:21 PM




Deb glances at the door, a shade of paranoia in her eyes and apparently nervous that her dad might've heard him. She paces away and out of habit Esteban doesn't like to be the guy trailing behind someone else--especially not a girl, so he starts walking as soon as he recognizes her intent and keeps pace beside her.

What was her dad really gonna do that had her so worried, though? Big, doughy fuck that he was, the only reason Esteban could see to be scared of him is if he were a glazed donut. Nah, her dad was probably the type who only bullied people who were obvious pushovers. It's easy to feel big if you never push yourself out of your comfort zone.

"He's just..." she starts to explain, eyes flickering as they look for an answer. Esteban cocks his head to her, incisive eyes waiting for her explanation. Nothing comes, and she groans in frustration instead before shutting the door on the subject with a defeatist "...nevermind."

Esteban shoots Deb a skeptical look before his eyes flick away. Her dad was an asshole, so why the hell was she trying to defend him? First back in her apartment when she didn't want Esteban to stand up to him and again now? He doesn't say anything, and they keep walking. Not much point in pointing that out and kicking her while she was down. She was kinda cute and he still needed a ride, after all.

"Sorry about... you know.... that"

Esteban shrugs. "I can take it." He says, and it was the truth. Verbal conflict didn't scare him and neither did physical conflict as long as no one pulled a knife or gun or some gay shit like that. But he wasn't the one her dad would take it out on, was he? He pauses for a second, and follows up, "Your brother gonna be okay?"





((sorry for the delay... my head's just been totally dunked underwater the past week or so with some projects))

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#10 Old 18th May 2010 at 8:49 PM Last edited by lanawinst : 18th May 2010 at 9:11 PM.

He received her apologies with a composed shrug and affirmed right-away:

"I can take it."

She suspected as much. His reaction to tonight's chain of event had been enough for her to come to perceive him as a rather self-controlled and self-assured person, someone who, whether it was due to his natural temper or developed out of habit, would be very seldom thrown of balance by an unexpected or an inimical situation. But that didn't mean that he'd enjoyed to be thrown into this kind of mess. Her family, her mess. Her responsibility.

And cutting off the brief silence, Esteban asked: "Your brother gonna be okay?"

If he had asked Deborah that same question on almost any other given moment, she'd had handled it like she always did, by easily pretending and then changing the subject. But, the last few days had been hard to cope with. Leaving people that she cares about, adapting to a new town while handling her father's moodiness and her brother's care was already quite a lot. As if it wasn't enough she also had to face her camera's break, her unexpected encounter with Riley and, last but not least, her precious mother's locket disappearance, probably stolen. Each one had acted like so many scratches that undermined her shell, without letting time take its course to recovery and that last blow with her father had not made things better and left her pretty much unsettled. So when he asked about her brother, her composure faltered again as all these repressed feelings struggled to emerge, clashing in her head. Will her father take his anger out on him? Probably. It would not be the first time. But without an audience or any further provocation he'll probably calm down fast. Would her presence help? Maybe. Or it'll just ignite the fire. But is he gonna be okay? No, he's not. Not now, not even tomorrow. Not ever. She opened her mouth determined to tell that everything gonna be fine but these words never came out and instead she blurted out:

"No..." She bit her lips, and adjusted quickly "yeah... he's just too little... after... he shouldn't have to take that crap" Realizing how confusing she must sound, she halted, and took a deep internal breath trying to sort out her thoughts. Esteban was just asking about now and she was embarking on a path that she really didn't want to address, because she knew that if she started to think about it, to put into words all that she's been thoroughly keeping for herself, then she might get stormed by it and she didn't want that to happen. Not here. Not now. Never actually. And using an old trick to clear her head from all this blurriness by mentally counting the steps as they were going down the stairs Deb concluded in a hardened voice, even managing to outline a hint of a reassuring smile:

"Tonight's not gonna be fun but it's gonna be okay. I wouldn't be here otherwise"

(((OOC: Sorry, it took me some time to determine how she'd react exactly. I hope it works?)))
Scholar
Original Poster
#11 Old 21st May 2010 at 6:14 PM

Her composure cracked at his question like he'd just broken a dam, and all her problems were gonna flood out. Oh shit, that's not what he wanted. He hoped she wasn't gonna start crying on him or anything.

"No..." Shes says, biting her lips and regaining control of her emotions. "Yeah... he's just too little... after... he shouldn't have to take that crap."

She stops in her tracks and takes a breath, and as they go down the stairs from her apartment, she smiles weakly and says, "Tonight's not gonna be fun but it's gonna be okay. I wouldn't be here otherwise"


As she finishes her resolution, Esteban gives her an appraising glance. Whew. Crisis averted. He hops onto a landing in the stairwell, stops, and turns to her with a sly, cocky grin.

"What about you?" He teases, picking up on her cue to drop the issue. "You gonna need a hug or something?"

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#12 Old 25th May 2010 at 10:57 PM

Still a little bit too much absorbed into her thoughts to pay too much too attention to him, it took Deborah an extra second time to record the fact that he was no longer by her side. And stopping quite abruptly to avoid bumping into him, she raised an inquisitive gaze to Esteban who was now facing her, his mouth split into a smirk as he asked :

"What about you? You gonna need a hug or something?"

It draw almost instantly an amused smile both by him and at herself on Deb's lips, wiping her out of her gloomy thoughts more efficiently than the counting did. Need a hug... Need? Shit, did she looked that bad? Uhm... she did contain herself but not that effortlessly. First her not-so-smooth exit and then... urgh... So weak... And so much for the big tough girl who didn't need anyone that she took pride in thinking that she'd managed to grown into.

It was one of these moments when after after biting the bullet for so long something happened that'd make her inadvertently swallow it and that was not a good feeling. At all. All you want is just to spit out that heavy and bitter tasting bullet. Getting it out of your system for good. It was these moments where she felt glimpses of her old self exposed, of that lost and frightened little girl who was desperately seeking someone that would help her getting this shit out of her, someone that would hold her. And she hated it. So, she sucked it up and tried to pretend that everything was fine or at least under control, more or less successfully. And this one had been a less undoubtedly. But admitting the fact that she'd been an awful mess was something else. Something that she was not about to do.

Deborah retorted, spontaneously teasing him back :

"I'm fine thanks. But if you wanted a hug you could have just say so".

Well, that went out before she had time to think about how he'd take it. Oh, and the hell with that. She was too tired and really didn't feel like analyzing everything now, so she just carried-on:

"Now if I really had to state what I'd like... uhm..." she paused briefly, a hint of mischief impregnating her features before adding "... well. Going to the dance would be a good start. Oh! and if whoever chose the music for tonight could have some taste, that'd be nice too".
Scholar
Original Poster
#13 Old 8th Jun 2010 at 9:01 PM

"I'm fine thanks. But if you wanted a hug you could have just say so".

Esteban cocks an eyebrow, shooting her a skeptical but good-humored look. The look on his face says you're crazy, lady, but he likes the fact that she can bite back a little... even if she could only do it when it didn't matter. Though it's not like he has any interest in picking at all her little faults right now. Tonight was gonna be fun, and he's not planning on ruining it by turning into his usual asshole self and making some chick cry.

"Now if I really had to state what I'd like... uhm... well. Going to the dance would be a good start. Oh! and if whoever chose the music for tonight could have some taste, that'd be nice too."

Esteban didn't know what Deb considered good for music, but he figured it was probably different from what he liked, considering the only thing that mattered to him was whether it got girls on the floor. He'd even put up with that gay pop shit as long as it inspired some girl to climb up his leg.

"Getting there's pretty easy, but the last DJ was shit." he says with a chuckle. The dumbass couldn't read the room for shit. A mischievous light in his eyes, he adds sarcastically, "One outta two ain't bad, though. Fifty percent--that's a solid F, right?"


((I'm really, really sorry about the delay! I hope this works. ))

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#14 Old 11th Jun 2010 at 8:48 PM Last edited by lanawinst : 12th Jun 2010 at 11:54 AM.

"Getting there's pretty easy, but the last DJ was shit. One outta two ain't bad, though. Fifty percent--that's a solid F, right?"

Uhm... yeah, one outta two seemed not bad but put that way, definitely not. F. Yuck, she didn't do those. F didn't rimed with not bad, rather with failure and f*cked. She pulled a falsely bothered face:

"Yeah, I suppose it is" and as they started to go down the stairs she added: "but I'm pretty sure I'll come up with things to add to the equation and ultimately get a better score"

They soon crossed the lasts steps that separated them from the entry door and pushed it wide open, releasing a gasp of sweeping wind that rushed past them and as they made their way through the courtyard to reach for the car, a chill furrowed through her spine making her slightly folding over herself. Damn winter. And it'll probably get even worse when she'll have her dress. Oh! Deborah's pace slowed slightly hesitant as the realization came upon her. Gosh, she almost forgot about it. She still needed to get dressed and... she raised a pensive gaze upon him... he wasn't really supposed to be around while she changed. Nothing seemed to ever happened as expected nowadays, and tonight was no exception to the rule. Well, at least nothing dramatic here, just a potentially embarrassing change of plan. She already embarrassed herself enough tonight and was determine to avoid another occasion to -shine- and as she pointed to her father's washed-out blue Buick Electra 255 they've been stopping right in front of, Esteban cracked an hearty laugh:

"Hahaha, shit. That's old school."

A small ironic smile curled on her face as Deb confirmed: "That's our ride" before adding offhandedly: "But... could you wait here a second? I need to change first"

But realizing as soon as the words had escaped her lips that since he was standing right in front of the car, here was kinda the front row of her soon-to-be stripping show, she instantly corrected trying hard not to look neither amused nor embarrassed and keep a straight face "uhm not exactly here but..." She stopped there. No need to state the obvious and make it look like a big deal, and instead just concluded with a slight shrug "You know... I'll be real quick. Thanks!"

Esteban's eyes had flashed in surprise a little bit, and as she had already reached for the keys on her bag and was opening the car, he answered :

"Uh, sure, I'll stand guard."

She quickly dove into the backseats while Esteban leaned against the car to partially shelter her from eventual prying eyes. She scowled. It was already better than outside but still too cold to make you wish that you don't have to part from any layer that helps keeps you from freezing. Needless to say that the following undressing and dressing part proved to be the fastest she ever did. Once done, she opened the opposite door, looked at her naked feet, turned back to grab her shoes, put them and finally got out of the car and waved Esteban over. Before climbing back into the car, in the driver seat this time, she throw a sly glance at her blurred reflection on the car window. That didn't looked too bad from here, a little bit disheveled maybe. Nothing she couldn't fix once inside the car.

(((OOC: Edited )))

Scholar
Original Poster
#15 Old 16th Jun 2010 at 5:44 PM

She didn't laugh or anything at his joke, and Esteban figures it makes sense. She seemed the responsible type, after all. Probably a good student and everything. Instead, she crinkles her face and says, ""Yeah, I suppose it is."

As they start down the stairs, she stops and adds somewhat playfully, "But I'm pretty sure I'll come up with things to add to the equation and ultimately get a better score."

Esteban shoots her a tight-lipped grin, keeping his thoughts to himself. Why did it sound kinda sexy when she said it like that? It was probably his dirty mind again, imagining all the different ways to get a "better score." But Deb seemed too clean to be dropping suggestive comments. Probably.

When they reach the bottom of the stairs, Deb hesitates and sends Esteban a cautious glance. He's not sure exactly how to read it, but he guesses she's probably a little nervous around him. Chicks can be flighty like that.

He scans over the lot for whatever her ride might be, and when she points to an old blue rust-bucket, Esteban chuckles. A Buick Electra 255... the last time he saw one of these, its muffler had fallen off and smoke was pouring out from under the hood.

"Hahaha, shit," he laughs. "That's old school."

"That's our ride," Deb corrects, a small smile lighting her face. "But... could you wait here a second? I need to change first."

Esteban shrugs an okay. Sure, they were running late, but it's not like they couldn't stop by a burger joint on the way there and get her in a bathroom first.

"Uhm not exactly here but..." Deb tries to explain, obviously a little embarrassed.

Esteban's brow furrows.

"You know... "

He glances left and right for a microsecond before realizing she means to change in the car. His eyes flash in surprise, and he wonders if she's trying to hit on him and being awkward about it or if she's really that innocent.

"I'll be real quick. Thanks!"

As she digs for her keys, Esteban decisively recovers from his moment of confusion and nonchalantly says, "Uh, sure, I'll stand guard."

He scans the parking lot for the widest angle of exposure and positions himself in front of it, leaning with his back against the car. She wouldn't change in the car if she thought there was no chance of something happening or if he were some fat, pimply nerd, right? Wait, did he even want something to happen? She was a pretty girl, after all, and it'd be great to show that whore how disposable she was... add insult to the injury of Matt dumping her. Plus, Sienna could only dream of skin as creamy and naturally "tan" as Deb's. Knowing how insecure she could get about shit like that, he smirks.

Well, no matter what Deb's motive is and what might happen or not happen, he tells himself to just be cool about it and not let his mind wander too much. Thank god for the internet, or the curiosity to look behind him would be killing him. He could hear the muffled rustle of clothing coming from behind him, the occasional thud as her limbs hit against the seats, and feel the car bounce slightly against his back with her every movement. It was distracting. The car could use new shocks too.

As soon he hears Deb open the door, he exhales and for some reason it feels like he's been holding his breath a while. In retrospect, her changing in the car meant that Deb was low maintenance as far as chicks went. After all, Marissa would take a good hour to get ready for something like this, and the puta... who knows how long? (But thank god he never had to deal with her stupid chick stuff!) With that in mind, it was actually pretty cool that Deb with okay with just a few minutes in the car.

Seeing that she's taking the driver's seat, he heads up to the passenger's side. As he's climbing in, he notices Deb checking herself out in the mirror. He knows that look--the look Marissa gives herself in the mirror when she finds something about her hair or makeup she needs to adjust. That, combined with the fact that Esteban wasn't the type to just sit back and let women take charge of a situation, is enough to make him offer confidently,

"Do you want me to drive so you can do your hair or whatever?"

After they switch spots, Esteban turns the keys, and the car starts after a generous amount of churning. Then, it makes a loud clunking noise, which stops Esteban in his tracks. He glances skeptically at Deb, then concentrates, alert to the subtleties in the car's rattling.

The gears turn in his head, and after a little while, he appraises the sound, "Sounds like you need new spark plugs." Then, he pulls the car out of its parking spot and drives them out of the complex.

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#16 Old 20th Jun 2010 at 12:27 AM

"Do you want me to drive so you can do your hair or whatever?"

As big as her father liked to make himself look, Deborah was the one who was in charge of most of the household's management on a day to day basis. She was the one who made sure that there would be always food in the fridge and clean clothes to wear, the one who took care of her brother and his doctor appointments and medication, the one who had to run for various errands that her father forgot to do for the thousand time. So, even if she didn't mind driving when Esteban offered to take her place behind the wheel, she readily accepted. The fact that it could allow her to fix her hair was nice but it felt particularly good to be able to just lay back and let someone else handle that.

She ensconced herself onto the passenger seat as he was starting the car, and releasing her hair that cascaded down over her shoulders she was about to go on with the makeover when she caught the dubious look he throw her out of the corner of her eyes and glanced back at him, not really knowing what to think of it. What was that about? Oh? That noise! But he couldn't be that surprised that this write-off was a bit... capricious.

She was about to say something about it when she realized that he was analyzing the car's noise, and changing her mind she waited silently, maintaining an intrigued gaze on him, wondering exactly what kind of insight he could get just by hearing it.

She had drawn her own conclusion, but given the fact that when it comes down to cars, the only things that she knew was how to drive it, and how to change a wheel, technically at least, the only insight she got from it had been that there might be something wrong with it and that she should probably do a check-up at a car shop. And she had meant to do it but... the budget was tight and car fees were rarely cheap so as long as it still worked it had been postponed indefinitely into the to-do list. A playful light waltzed on her dark sight as she envisioned various more or less probable resulting commentaries from the paternalistic -you know you should do something about that- to the concerned: -And you were driving with that?- or even the overly dramatic: -we have to get out now before it explodes-.

Putting an end to the lingering wait Esteban finally observed, "Sounds like you need new spark plugs." before driving them out of the courtyard.

She lifted an impressed brow. He knew that only by listening to the noise? That demonstrated a real knowledge of car mechanics. Was it his hobby or something? And as she picked up her hair resuming her hairdressing she realized that a brush would do a better job than her fingers and lost her grip. Then, she untied her seat-belt, rotated and stretched out to reach for her bag on the backseats while she asked :

"So, you're into cars?"

And finally getting a hold of the brush she spring back and added, trying not to sound too concerned :

"There's no rush, right? I mean, for the plugs. That's not too bad?"

(((OOC: I struggle a bit with it, I hope it makes sense and that you've got enough to go on?)))

Scholar
Original Poster
#17 Old 22nd Jun 2010 at 8:51 PM

The car chugs along as Esteban eases it out of the lot. It's got laggy response, even when he pumps his foot to feed it more gas. From the corner of his eye, he sees Deb's brow raise, and he quickly ignores the minor swelling of pride he felt whenever he knew he impressed a pretty girl and soon forgot about it. She keeps fidgeting with her hair, running her fingers through bouncing waves, putting it up, then changing her mind and taking it down as she unfastened her seatbelt.

"So, you're into cars?" She asks as she reaches into the backseat for something.

"Yeah," he says absently, like it's not that impressive to him. "My brother's always been a big greaser, so I kinda got into it." At the mention of his own brother, Esteban thinks the same thing he thinks whenever he meets a pretty girl. Note to self: do not introduce to brother.

Deb twists back into her seat with a brush in her hand and asks with a hint of worry tinging her voice, "There's no rush, right? I mean, for the plugs. That's not too bad?"

Esteban holds back a knowing smile, though a trace of it appears over his lips like she's just asked a cute question. "Well, you'll wanna replace them soon," he comments flippantly.

He glances at her, picking up the hints of worry on her face for the first time, and has second thoughts about his earlier comment. He backtracks and explains, "It'll cost ya a couple hundred at a shop and maybe half that if you do it yourself, but if you keep waiting you'll loose more money cause it messes up your gas efficiency. And eventually, your car won't even start or worse, it'll damage your catalytic converter." He grins wryly at her and adds, "But we're not in danger of exploding or nothing like that tonight."


((OOC: I know this probably isn't much to go on, but I couldn't think of anything Esteban would obviously want to ask, and it didn't seem right for his character to go "fishing" for small talk. Let me know if this works or if you need more to go off of, and we'll work something out. ))

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#18 Old 27th Jun 2010 at 3:33 PM


"Well, you'll wanna replace them soon"

Deborah shot him an inquiring glance, furrowing slightly her brows. All right, soon it was. And how soon exactly? And what if they still waited, would the car seriously break down? And as she was about to question him about it, he looked back at her and explained:

"It'll cost ya a couple hundred at a shop and maybe half that if you do it yourself, but if you keep waiting you'll loose more money cause it messes up your gas efficiency. And eventually, your car won't even start or worse, it'll damage your catalytic converter."

Well, at least now she was settled. She just missed the part where she'd learn how they would get a hold of that much cash. Let's hope her father would at least know how to replace it because she had no idea on how to do that. Hell, she didn't even knew what a catalytic converter was. Wait, catalytic? She knew this word, that was a chemistry stuff. It involved a catalysis, or like their chemistry teacher had expressed: the process of changing the rate of a chemical reaction by use of a catalyst. That was not really helping her in the current matter, isn't it? It's like if they happened to hit a tree, it didn't really matter to know if the tree is a poplar or an oak tree, either way the result is gonna be pretty much the same. What was it with all this knowledge that it could never ever be of some use other than having good grades. Or boring to death someone else when shared.

"But we're not in danger of exploding or nothing like that tonight", clarified Esteban with a smirk.

A crooked smile grew over Deborah's regular features at his caustic retort. Tonight, huh? She may be clueless about cars and she may have envisioned this just a minute ago but it had been just one of these crazy funny things that she pictured when she was letting her mind wander too much, the outcome of a rampant imagination. Like this time when she was little and she'd discovered in the attic the picture of a mysterious woman with a baby and at the back of it unknown initials and a birth date. The fact that when she had asked her father about the identity of these persons he had grounded her and took the picture had been enough to nurture the most extravagant explanations, one being that it was her hidden half-brother or sister. It was probably just one of her mum's old friend with her child but it was way funnier to imagine a dark secret behind it. She did know that cars never explode anyway, it just burns. I mean, come on, cars exploded only in the movies. Everyone knew that. Well, unless there's extreme circumstances like a bomb inside. And flashing him an impish smile, she replied:

"Oh good, thanks. I feel so much better now"

And as she was putting the final touches on her hair, she thought again about what he'd just said about his brother and the fact that he got into cars because of him, sort of, and commented in an undertone almost for herself :

"It must be nice to have a big brother to look up to" before going on as a bright smile was taking over her lips "Lucas is going through this phase where he wants to do everything I do. You should see him, he's so adorable when he's mimicking me, proudly carrying my old camera. Actually, he's pretty good at it. He's already mastered the blurring effects and avant-garde shots like toilet pictures".

(((OOC: I figured she'd go for some small talk about her favorite subject I hope it'll work for you otherwise you can pm me and i'll edit )))

Scholar
Original Poster
#19 Old 1st Jul 2010 at 5:05 AM Last edited by robokitty : 3rd Jul 2010 at 7:02 PM.
((guess who got a new play by! ))



"Oh good, thanks. I feel so much better now"

Esteban smirks and jokes with semi-fake cockiness. “Chicks keep saying that around me.” A beat later, he adds with self-effacing humor, “I think they’re being sarcastic.”

He glances over at Deb, and she’s still fiddling around with here hair. And while Esteban knows this sort of shit is important to chicks. he doesn’t see that it makes that big a difference. Hair looked sexy to him either up or down, but most preferably rumpled into a pillow. It’s not like any straight dude would turn down a chance to get lucky just cause some chick was having a bad hair day.

"It must be nice to have a big brother to look up to," she reflects wistfully as she puts the finishing touches on her hair.

“Yeah, he’s alright,” Esteban says with a shrug, an altogether lukewarm response. He glances at Deb, then puts his eyes back on the road. He hesitates to add anything else about his brother cause it’s easy to say too much about him. Chicks either love or hate a serial womanizer. If they loved ‘em, that meant Esteban would end up being the loser holding his own dick. If they hated ‘em, then he’d be guilty by association. It was a lose-lose situation, so the best thing to do was to drop the subject entirely.

Luckily, it doesn’t look like Deb is interested in prying cause she goes on to chatter about her own brother.

"Lucas is going through this phase where he wants to do everything I do. You should see him, he's so adorable when he's mimicking me, proudly carrying my old camera. Actually, he's pretty good at it. He's already mastered the blurring effects and avant-garde shots like toilet pictures".

“Ha,” Esteban gives a short laugh in amusement, a genuine smile creeping over his lips and twinkling the corner of his eye. There were only two things in the world that could soften him up, and those were pretty girls and family--wait. And booze. Okay, three things.

“He’s a cool kid,” he comments about Lucas. “How long have you two been into cameras n' stuff?”

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#20 Old 4th Jul 2010 at 7:49 PM Last edited by lanawinst : 6th Jul 2010 at 11:23 PM.

“He’s a cool kid,”

Deborah was a soft-hearted girl, especially when it came to her brother, so Esteban's comment about Lucas earned him a warm open smile. Damn sure Luke was a cool kid. She could testify from her most -un-biased judgment that he was the coolest, sweetest, bravest little boy of all.

“How long have you two been into cameras n' stuff?” , went-on Esteban.

Her brows slightly closed in as she pondered his question. Lucas' photography experiences were limited to the times where she was alone with him. Based on the reactions her father had when she had talked about her love of photography and her wish to take classes or extra-scholar activities of it, her father would probably kill her if he knew that she was indulging his wish of doing the same. She replied, a soft smile still lingering on her lips:

"Luke's been doing it since more or less a year. And I..." Deborah paused thoughtfully before going on: "I'd got my first camera for my 3rd birthday, but I've always been into it for as long as I can remember, whether it was in front or behind the lens."

Photography was far from being a simple hobby for her, it was the only link that still tied her to her mother and the shape of a distant smile sprung from her lips as glimpses of cherished memories of moments of past happiness were slowly creeping into her ebony eyes. The transient smell of sandalwood that came titillating her nostrils exhaled by her mother's hair that stroked slightly her cheek as her mother had bend behind her to help her take a picture. A blinding sun so bright that she couldn't look up to the sky, and this giant tree that looked like a giant pink cotton candy and resting huddled together in the coolness of the shade of the tree, her mother and her father. And lifting her gaze back to his own, she explained:

"My mother was a photographer, so..."

A flash of melancholy shimmered onto her eyes and breaking eye contact, she stared into space, contemplating the skyline. All these memories that vividly etched in her mind once had lost its vibrancy, they seemed distant, not matter how much she had tried to engrave these memories by replaying them over and over in her head, desperately needing to hold on to these and lick her unclosed scars, sometimes even unconsciously mixing real memories with fictional ones to fill the missing parts. She kept trying to bring such fleeting moments back into focus and kept on failing.

But that didn't lasted more than a few seconds as breaking out of the slippery chain of thought she was slowly drifting over, she directed him a small smile as she concluded with an evasive shrug:

"I guess that's a family thing "

(((OOC: Yay! New awesome banner! I hope it's enough for you to go on?)))

Scholar
Original Poster
#21 Old 16th Jul 2010 at 8:39 AM

"Luke's been doing it since more or less a year. And I... I'd got my first camera for my 3rd birthday, but I've always been into it for as long as I can remember, whether it was in front or behind the lens."

Esteban drives and nods absently, a polite small pressed on half his mouth. He gives the half-friendly and half-aloof nod of a guy who’s trying to be nice but maybe isn’t really listening that hard. But his attention snaps back and he feels his heart tighten when Deb says:

"My mother was a photographer, so..."

Was. Kinda hard to miss. And kinda hitting too close to home for comfort. Esteban glances haflway at Deb, doesn’t quite make it to looking her in the eyes, and then diverts his gaze up to the rear-view mirror. He doesn’t need to look at her to know the look on her face, and frankly he doesn’t want to see it and be reminded. Instead, he squints like the reflections from the snow are too bright for him, and lets that the mild scowl hide whatever personal reaction he was feeling.

Truth is, he didn’t know what he felt, but he knew he didn’t like it and he knew he didn’t like sharing it with others (except for the part where he felt like breaking shit). Out of all of them, he’d always thought he was the one she was most disappointed by. But out of all of them, he knew her best--the side effect of always pushing someone’s buttons.

"I guess that's a family thing " She finishes, after a long, halting pause. This time, Esteban meets her gaze out of the corner of his eyes as he’s driving. She shrugs, and smiles, and he recognizes it as fake. What else can it be?

He looks back at the road, and before he can stop himself or really think it through, he blurts with a flat, almost monotone voice, “Were you close?”

A second later, Esteban realizes what he’s said, wishes he hadn’t brought it up, but figures he better keep going along with it. “...uh, with your mom, I mean?”

((Gah! So sorry about the delay! I'm gonna try to get more on point with responding more quickly to these. D: ))

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#22 Old 19th Jul 2010 at 11:15 PM

“Were you close?”

Although dropped in a lackluster tone this unexpected interrogation left Deborah slightly unsettled and she shot him a scrutinizing glance. Close? Could he mean? The answer came fast as Esteban added: “...uh, with your mom, I mean?”

Her first instinct was to protectively just brushing aside the question, and the first sound that crossed her lips was an hesitant "uh..". This was an intimate question, one that raised more questions than answers in Deb's mind, one that was inextricably rooted with her inner insecurity and guilt. But her surprise overcome, his apparent neutrality mixed with the unconscious feeling of reliability that she had started to develop toward him made her quickly cast her reservation off and decide to treat it like a regular question and she answered in a neutral tone, yet feeling compelled to resume her skyline staring:

"Yeah we were..." She had shared an almost symbiotic relationship with her mother and the fact that she had left while Deb was still a child had almost left it undermined by the usual teenage parent questioning, taking instead all the blame on herself. She mustn't have been what her mother expected her to be, she failed her. If she'd been less selfish, more perfect, all could have been different. But as much as she was holding to this idealized vision of her mother, growing up still instilled some clarity in her, making her wondering what was true and not. Were they close? Or was she close to her mum? Maybe even too close to really see her. And while her fingers were fidgeting absently with the brush that was still in her hands, she corrected in an undertone "I was".

And in the same tone, without drifting her attention from her scenery, she asked back:

"Does it really matter?"

Scholar
Original Poster
#23 Old 19th Jul 2010 at 11:36 PM

“Uh... yeah, we were.... I was.

His throat tightens at Deb’s halting and obviously vulnerable response, but he wasn’t about to get all weepy or anything like that. No way. Still, he was glad he was driving cause that meant that she keeps looking ahead, and he keeps looking ahead, and they don’t have to have this conversation face to face. Eyes, he knew, could betray a person.

“Does it really matter?”

He takes a hand off the wheel, scratches the side of his nose, and keeps his eyes on the road. He means to answer as casually as he can, but an undertone of bitterness seeps into his retort: “Guess not. Doesn’t make ‘em less gone, right?”

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#24 Old 21st Jul 2010 at 10:35 PM


“Guess not. Doesn’t make ‘em less gone, right?”

Deb means to answer but comes at a loss of words as her breath shortened. She felt dizzy, like if she couldn't drag enough air into her lungs to focus, while his words echoed in her head and she pulls a defeatist grunt of agreement instead. No it didn't. She was gone and things would never go back to the way they were. She knew it for god's sake, not quite accepted it but she had made do with it, so why did hearing it made her felt like shit?

And as she tries to compose herself she realizes something else. That bitterness. Them. Esteban told her that he was living with his siblings and on some distant level she had registered that it must mean that his parents were nowhere to be found but now it struck her. He knew, didn't he? That it didn't. Nor did the struggling, the introspection, all these various attempts to sort it out or to give it some kind of sense. Or talking about it.

Everything was just pointless anyway, wasn't it? Pointless, meaningless. Deborah feels a rush of anger running through her spine and as she caught out of the corner of her eyes her reflection in the rear-view mirror, staring at herself, her brows furrowed slightly before edgily diverting her sight back to the landscape. Helpless. Fucking less...

Scholar
Original Poster
#25 Old 22nd Jul 2010 at 12:52 AM Last edited by robokitty : 22nd Jul 2010 at 6:30 AM.

Silence.

After the soft agreement issues from her throat, it takes Esteban a couple seconds to realize she’s not saying anything else and then... silence. Awkward, awkward silence.

He guessed this is the part in chick flicks where they’re supposed to talk about how they feel, but there wasn’t anything to fucking say. He taps his fingers absently on the steering wheel. Normally, silences like this didn’t bother him, but he was feeling self-conscious for some reason--like he'd rather be naked than this. Looking for something to say, but everything was trite. Meaningless. Hallmark. Stupid.

Finally, he takes a hand off the steering wheel and switches on the radio. A blaring announcer's voice suddenly breaks the silence. He flicks the dial to the local hip-hop station and resumes driving, letting the music block out his thoughts. He keeps his mouth shut for now, determined not to say anything cheap.

.:Kitty Klan:.
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