I don’t know how long Kat sat there and cried with me frozen beside her. Finally, I managed to ask her what the doctor said.
“What did he say Kat?”
She sobbed harder. I pulled her up and into my arms. I held her while she cried.



I was murmuring that things would be ok when she dropped the bomb on me.
“I’m dying Jays.”
My jaw dropped and I spun her around to face me.
“WHAT?” My voice was shrill.
“It’s cancer Jays. I have cancer and I’m dying.”
“This is crazy, you can’t have cancer. How do you know that you have that….that disease?” I couldn’t even say it…
“I went to the doctor today. He ran all kinds of tests. I have a cancerous growth in my belly. We saw it on the scans and they did blood work. They say its small cell carcinoma and its terminal. They think it’s in my ovaries, my liver and my right lung. I’m going to die Jays and probably soon. My prognosis is 3 months. 3 months. How am I going to squeeze a lifetime into 3 months and how sick am I going to be?” Sobs overtook her and I cradled her slim body against mine. We cried together for a long time. I was in shock. This couldn’t be happening. I had to excuse myself to absorb what she told me.



The next day, I took off work to be with Kat when she went to see the oncologist. He did a few tests, a biopsy and inserted a subcutaneous port just below her collarbone. The port looked like she had a bottle top under her skin but I didn’t say anything to her about it. While Kat dressed, I followed the doctor to his office. He motioned for me to sit which I did. He watched me from across his desk. He was very blunt when he spoke. He said there was nothing that he could do for Kat.



Surgery was not an option due to the fact the cancer had spread so far. He said Kat would be taken for a brain scan in a moment to see if the cancer had reached her brain. I asked about chemo but he said it wouldn’t cure her, only prolong her suffering. With chemo, she could possibly have a few more weeks but would it be worth the pain and suffering she would endure? He didn’t gloss over the fact that she would most likely suffer pain so severe she would scream, cry and maybe even try to end her life to escape it all. I sat there stunned, shocked into silence.



When Kat was brought back to the room where I waited, she was crying. She said she was hurting. The nurse said she would bring her something and hurried off. After a shot of morphine, Kat was quiet. She had a haunted look in her eyes that broke my heart. I couldn’t imagine what she was thinking, how it would feel to be in her shoes. An hour later the doctor called me back into his office. Kat was sleeping off the pain meds. He wasted no time telling me that there were masses on her brain and on her brain stem. He told me the best thing he could do was to keep Kat as comfortable as possible until the end. Once again, tears rained down my face. I quickly gathered my wits and thanked the doctor for his time. I arranged for a nurse to come daily to help with Kat then took her home and tucked her in her own bed.



I called Jareth. He knew by my voice that something was wrong. He assured me he would be right over. When he arrived, I took him to the kitchen so we wouldn’t disturb Kat.
“What’s going on Jays? You sounded upset on the phone.”
“It’s Kat Jareth. She has…she….she’s dying.” I lost it, the dam broke, and I cried like a baby for the friend that I was losing. No matter what, she would die. It didn’t matter that she was only 25. Neither did it matter that she had never been married, that she would never give birth or hear a child call her mommy. It didn’t matter that she was a good person who had never been in trouble or done anything to hurt anyone. It just wasn’t fair. Jareth held me while I cried. He tried so hard to comfort me even though he knew he couldn’t.



When the flood abated, Jareth urged me to explain. In a shaky voice, I told him what the doctor told me. He held me gently when I finished. He asked if I had called Braxlee. I told him I hadn’t and that I didn’t want to right now. I explained that I just didn’t like the man but I knew I had to get over that and tell him. They were an item after all. I let Jareth hold me for a little while longer while I sat building up the strength to call Braxlee. With shaking hands, I dialed his number. He answered on the first ring.
“Braxlee, its Jaysia. I need to talk to you. Could you come over?”
“I can’t right now, I’ve got company and I have to be at work at 6. What’s do you need to talk about? Can’t you just tell me on the phone?”
“It’s about Kat and it’s urgent.”
“Well say it why don’t you. Is she hurt? Is she still sick? I am not coming around her while she is sick. I don’t want what ever it is she has.”
“You jerk. Don’t worry. You can’t catch what she has. She’s dying stupid. It’s cancer.”



I didn’t even wait on his response, just slammed the phone down. I was shaking with anger. Jareth wrapped his arms around me and soothed me as best he could.