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It's a secret!
But really, your sim has to make friends with at least three of the secret society members, then he/she will be 'kidnapped' by someone, bundled into the back of a limo and taken to the secret society lot. Then, you will be a secret society member, have the use of the secret society lot at any time (you have an option on the phone to visit the secret society), and you get to wear a very smart secret society outfit. Oh, and you can do a funny handshake.
As regards the lot, I don't think there is any way of entering it from the neighbourhood as long as it is a secret society lot, and you can only have one secret society per Uni. You may be able to re-zone the lot (although I've never tried this), and of course you can get into build mode when your sim is visiting, too.