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Old 7th Nov 2018, 4:24 PM #4226
Emmett Brown
Inventor

Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 931


Every morning on a school day, I am filled with a sense of dread. Then it starts: getting the kid out of bed. It's a major battle. If it wasn't for the state truancy laws I'd throw up my hands and say it's her problem. The shrink first said let the "natural consequences" happen. The natural consequences is I end up in truancy court. Now the shrink says I gotta establish boundries.
I'm aware that psychology is far from an exact science, being neither exact nor science... but this is absurd. Hasn't anyone from the behavior side done a study of different personality types and what works? After 100 years of rocket science, we've been to the moon. 100 year of psychology, this should be elementary stuff and it's more akin to guessing than a art. I expect to see a test to classify personality, and then a report of what is and is not an effective parenting technique for that personality type.

Sims are better than us.
Old 7th Nov 2018, 4:26 PM #4227
Bigsimsfan12
Alchemist

Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,829
Thanks: 36 in 1 Posts
2 Achievements


Quote:
Originally Posted by PANDAQUEEN
You know those refer a friend programs with incentives?
*Refer a friend, they spend $X, you get that much back.
*Refer a friend, you get free merchandise from the shop
*Refer a friend, you both get a discount by up to maybe 50%

Never really liked them
1.) I don't have many friends, aside from Cassie, who might or might not enjoy the Japan Crate, the Umai Crate or TokyoTreat Crate.
2.) I find it to be pushy and pushy isn't exactly my thing. I don't like being someone foisting something onto people.

If international friends count, you can sign me up I don't mind. I love when you tell me which cool treats you get in your crates.

~Your friendly neighborhood ginge
Old 7th Nov 2018, 4:40 PM #4228
smorbie1
Mad Poster

Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,895
1 Achievements


You can take your daughter to the career center if you have a local college. There you both can get Myers Briggs testing. She can also get something called a Strong Interest test. You can use the information gathered from these tests, which should be free, to help you formulate a plan to get her moving.

Unfortunately, you are also battling physiology. The teen's brain is still growing and their bodies are actually programmed at that point to stay up late and sleep later in the mornings.

How's your knee?

Why is it the songs we hate the most set up permanent residence in our brains? Chris Hatch's family friendly files archived on SFS: http://www.modthesims.info/showthread.php?t=603534 . Bulbizarre's website: https://bulbizarre.neocities.org/
Old 7th Nov 2018, 8:38 PM #4229
Gargoyle Cat
Alchemist

Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,963
1 Achievements


Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmett Brown
Every morning on a school day, I am filled with a sense of dread. Then it starts: getting the kid out of bed. It's a major battle. If it wasn't for the state truancy laws I'd throw up my hands and say it's her problem. The shrink first said let the "natural consequences" happen. The natural consequences is I end up in truancy court. Now the shrink says I gotta establish boundries.
I'm aware that psychology is far from an exact science, being neither exact nor science... but this is absurd. Hasn't anyone from the behavior side done a study of different personality types and what works? After 100 years of rocket science, we've been to the moon. 100 year of psychology, this should be elementary stuff and it's more akin to guessing than a art. I expect to see a test to classify personality, and then a report of what is and is not an effective parenting technique for that personality type.


Take this reply for what it is worth, blocks of salt...whatever works for you. I'm not a shrink, nor do I pretend to be one.

When I had issues with my son and school, the first thing I did was put him in a new school. The one he was in loved to sugar coat everything, remind me of how cute and sweet he is and that the best way to deal with his behavior was to load him up on medication. While I admit that I am a bias momma bear that believes that my son is cute and sweet even today, he can also act like a jackass, just like anybody else.

When he got to middle school age, he was put into a vocational school where students are expected to act like adults. If they don't, they are sent back to regular public school. My son got into trouble once, never pulled bullshit again and graduated, with honors. There were many mornings he went to school grumpy and with a attitude, but he got over it and came home in a good mood most of the time. As for the whole medication thing, it never happened as it wasn't necessary. Changing the atmosphere he was going to on a daily basis made a world of difference.

Prior to moving him to a new school, I had issues with him on a daily basis. It was anything from him fighting with me about buying the wrong kind of cereal to him intentionally failing classes so he could be one of the 'cool kids'. While all of this was going on, he'd ask me for things. I bought him his first computer with a promise that he would stop doing these things. I knew it was bullshit, but I kept my word and bought him a computer. There were literally months where it was packed up and not used because the behavior didn't change. If he had homework to do, he would sit here at my computer and get it done. I did not expect miracles and or perfection, but I did expect him to give his best effort at school and behave himself in general.

I'm not going to lie and say that change came quickly as it didn't. It was literally 3 years of endless, exhausting battles, me getting a face full of temper on a regular basis, ect... Come senior year, he chilled out. Most of the fighting stopped, he by that time bought himself a better computer and even though he wanted to bail a few months before graduating, I powered through the rough days and he ended up doing the right thing. Fast forward to today, I don't get a face full of temper anymore. He had learn had to learn the hard way that when I say something is going to happen, I will make it happen and I don't care how much of stink he makes of it. He has found that discussing things with a indoor voice is much better than acting like a brat.

My point here is...create your own consequences.
Old 8th Nov 2018, 12:13 AM #4230
adamsavagefan
Lab Assistant

Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 67


I filled our sunflower seed bird feed yesterday (11/6) and it's already at LESS THAN HALF today!!! Seriously! How much are these birds eating???? We're going to end up with some pretty fat birds!

Rob Riemensnyder is the biggest coward who ever lived. Stay away from him.
Old 8th Nov 2018, 1:42 AM #4231
PANDAQUEEN
Alchemist

Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,930


Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigsimsfan12
If international friends count, you can sign me up I don't mind. I love when you tell me which cool treats you get in your crates.


Currently, all but two can be shipped to Germany, (Japan Crate and Umai Crate), everywhere and everything else is fair game so you're good to go.

"There are some obstacles that cannot be removed with a mere show of force."
-King of Atlantis, as portrayed by Leonard Nimoy, Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : 8th Nov 2018 at 10:52 AM.
Old 8th Nov 2018, 10:51 AM #4232
PANDAQUEEN
Alchemist

Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,930


Quote:
Originally Posted by adamsavagefan
I filled our sunflower seed bird feed yesterday (11/6) and it's already at LESS THAN HALF today!!! Seriously! How much are these birds eating???? We're going to end up with some pretty fat birds!


Is your feeder squirrel-proof? When I was in the forest in high school, the raccoons would steal suet pudding and the squirrels ate freely from the feeders. Made birdwatching from the glass backsplash all the more insane.

The day my father installed raccoon\squirrel-proof feeders, it was all fun and games to hear the kittens chitter chatter at the birds.

"There are some obstacles that cannot be removed with a mere show of force."
-King of Atlantis, as portrayed by Leonard Nimoy, Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : 8th Nov 2018 at 11:10 AM.
Old 8th Nov 2018, 11:48 AM #4233
adamsavagefan
Lab Assistant

Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 67


Quote:
Originally Posted by PANDAQUEEN
Is your feeder squirrel-proof? When I was in the forest in high school, the raccoons would steal suet pudding and the squirrels ate freely from the feeders. Made birdwatching from the glass backsplash all the more insane.

The day my father installed raccoon\squirrel-proof feeders, it was all fun and games to hear the kittens chitter chatter at the birds.


Yes, it's squirrel proof (baffle on the feeder pole). I know it's the birds because I can see the feeder from the kitchen window and sometimes there will be 2 or 3 or them on there at the same time!

Rob Riemensnyder is the biggest coward who ever lived. Stay away from him.
Old 8th Nov 2018, 8:28 PM #4234
Gargoyle Cat
Alchemist

Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,963
1 Achievements


It is turning into one of those days where I have a invisible sign over my head that sez " Please be a pain in the ass, I like it!". I've dealt with adult temper tantrums most of the day and apparently all arms and legs are broken except when it comes to playing video games. Also, what's up with companies that only carry Bissell upholstery cleaners? I have one their vacuum cleaners and it sucks, in a bad way. I get better results from the handheld, battery powered, Dyson hand vac that I keep in my office.

The reviews I've read on all the other small upholstery cleaners are not any better. Meh! Now I need to rethink my plan although some gasoline and a match would fix the problem and it wouldn't cost me anything. I suppose that would be considered sinister or something...
Old 9th Nov 2018, 12:24 AM #4235
Bigsimsfan12
Alchemist

Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,829
Thanks: 36 in 1 Posts
2 Achievements


Now my brother's come home from my Fiance's Mum's house, he's telling me he "doesn't like me" because I don't show him any respect and I'm always telling him off. Adam thinks it's something that his Mum has fed to him or something because he didn't say anything like that before, but still it hurts. I was talking about how I wish we could have fun family time with him and that we (because Adam tells him off just as much but he doesn't dislike him?) don't enjoy telling him off and we wish we couldn't, but a lot of time it's the only way that's getting him to do his chores or whatever. I said that I'd really like to do something nice before the baby comes because we'll be a lot busier then and he said "or me and Adam can have family time and you can just stay at home".

Even after I explained to him that not only am I his parent, but also this is a child I've raised since I was a child, even before I was legally obligated to, this is the kid I've sacrificed my last relationship for, and I've had to change my whole career path for, and he says he understands, he still says "well like, I get all that... but I just don't like you". I was clearly upset, and he showed no remorse or anything, he literally didn't care at all. This is the child who, two years ago on mothers day, made me a whole tressure hunt with maps and such leading to a long essay about how much he loved me, and loads of chocolate.


Oh also my Mother-In-Law told him that he dresses scruffy, should wash his hair every day (he has a scalp condition that's made worse with constant washing - although I have told him to shower every day but have a shower cap, or not wash his hair, which he wasn't interested in until now) and that our house is a mess. I don't even know why she'd say that. The house is a little cluttered right now, and has been since we moved in because we're still finding places for everything, especially now that the spare bedroom (which we kept spare stuff in because we don't have access to the attic/garage) is being converted into a baby bedroom. I'm so furious and hurt and upset.

~Your friendly neighborhood ginge
Old 9th Nov 2018, 4:55 AM #4236
Emmett Brown
Inventor

Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 931


Quote:
Originally Posted by Gargoyle Cat
My point here is...create your own consequences.

Yes. That is where the psychologist is right now... i need to create consequences for my daughter. I have some ideas on how to go forward with that. Like most psychologists, my daughter's psychologist favors positive reinforcement and not negative. I wrote a paper in college for my behavioral psycho class on why the characterization of "positive" and "negative" is a false one, they are one and the same. A rat leans on a lever and gets food: that's the objective reality. It's positive reinforcement if the rat becomes fat, and negative if the rat is skinny and starving.

But I digress...

I've just watched a bit of a verbal fight between my daughter and her mom; mostly about grades and homework. I just kept my mouth shut and watched the dynamics of it. Same thing has been happening since our daughter was 2 years old. How I could lose an argument when I didn't say a word! That doesn't seem possible but I'm pretty sure I did.

I know what I'm gonna do, try and create a reward system for doing homework and getting good grades, and make it fun.

What I want to do is run away from these two crazy people (wife's on a mental disability) and get a double wide out in the middle of the desert and spend the rest of my life working on anti-gravity, robots and a few other things.... I'd take my dog, Schrodinger. I'd feel really bad for about a year or two but really I make this all possible. I'd probably find a local church, make friends, play card games with them... It would be nice having friends again. Sort of like "Back to the Future III" only no Buford 'Mad Dog' Tannen, I hope.

My dream home in Nebraska got sold... it had beautiful hardwood floors and a huge basement for all my experiments.

I've come to deal with my impending knee operation. I'm on my own. That's no big deal. Just bring some canned chicken, tuna and spinach upstairs with a can opener and some paper bowls and plastic forks, and I'm set upstairs until I can scoot up and down the stairs on my butt. I feel good about that. I expect wife and daughter will be at each other's throats during this time and I'm sure I'll be dragged into the middle of it. I also know I can't expect much more than a ride to and from the hospital and I should be grateful for that and any act of kindness I get. I'm a little bitter about the unfairness of how much I give compared to how much I get back, but these people are takers and not givers. If I don't like it it's my own fault.

Did I mention finding new friends out there in some small community in fly over America? Yeah... Sounds good. I've not had a friend since I retired. I had friends at work. Didn't see them much the last year because we travel frequently and we were assigned to different programs at the end.

I've written this post 3 times now. This time I'm going to really press "Submit Reply", probably because of the Egg Nog... It is way to much information.

Sims are better than us.
Old 9th Nov 2018, 12:47 PM #4237
Gargoyle Cat
Alchemist

Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,963
1 Achievements


Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmett Brown

I've written this post 3 times now. This time I'm going to really press "Submit Reply", probably because of the Egg Nog... It is way to much information.


Hang in there. Being a parent is hard enough. Being a parent when it feels like the world is working against you doesn't make things easier.
Old 10th Nov 2018, 1:24 AM #4238
PANDAQUEEN
Alchemist

Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,930


Recently, while waiting in line to buy groceries, a man thought I was a high school freshman when he ask if I am getting help and said "Is there somebody at school who can help you?" He continues "You are a freshman, right?" Incensed, I said "I'm 31!"

I bought a t-shirt that best warns those fooled by my childish looks. It says "I'm actually in my thirties" in a mimicked style of the logo of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 animated series).

"There are some obstacles that cannot be removed with a mere show of force."
-King of Atlantis, as portrayed by Leonard Nimoy, Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Old 12th Nov 2018, 12:55 AM #4239
Gargoyle Cat
Alchemist

Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,963
1 Achievements


There is more to life than food, but my posts this past week wouldn't suggest that. Anyway...

To all the dudes at the grocery store,

When I'm at the store, at dinner time, on a Sunday night, it's because I'm hungry. I have zero interest in watching all of you strut around the store with your chests puffed out because you for whatever reason think the grocery store is a place to check out women or whatever you're doing. I give zero fugs. Then of course there is the self-important moron with his cell phone, standing in the middle of the aisle so nobody can get around him, because he's special. Also, trying to be cute with me in a parking lot isn't a good idea.

Can all of you just behave yourselves while in the store? Is this too much to ask?

Apparently I need to work on my f-off face because it wasn't working for me this evening or any other female in the store at the time. All I wanted was the stuff I needed and then come home. I don't need the testosterone-loaded BS in my face when I'm about ready to gnaw my own arm off.
Old 12th Nov 2018, 9:56 AM #4240
RicoSuavecito
Field Researcher

Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 356
1 Achievements


Quote:
Originally Posted by Gargoyle Cat
There is more to life than food, but my posts this past week wouldn't suggest that. Anyway...

To all the dudes at the grocery store,

When I'm at the store, at dinner time, on a Sunday night, it's because I'm hungry. I have zero interest in watching all of you strut around the store with your chests puffed out because you for whatever reason think the grocery store is a place to check out women or whatever you're doing. I give zero fugs. Then of course there is the self-important moron with his cell phone, standing in the middle of the aisle so nobody can get around him, because he's special. Also, trying to be cute with me in a parking lot isn't a good idea.

Can all of you just behave yourselves while in the store? Is this too much to ask?

Apparently I need to work on my f-off face because it wasn't working for me this evening or any other female in the store at the time. All I wanted was the stuff I needed and then come home. I don't need the testosterone-loaded BS in my face when I'm about ready to gnaw my own arm off.



I hate boys like that, (yes I used boys because they don't know how to act). It's no wonder they're single.

- Sent from my iHell
Old 12th Nov 2018, 10:53 AM #4241
Gargoyle Cat
Alchemist

Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,963
1 Achievements


Quote:
Originally Posted by RicoSuavecito
I hate boys like that, (yes I used boys because they don't know how to act). It's no wonder they're single.


I don't know if they were single or not, and I'm not usually bothered by such nonsense sans the parking lot thing, but the creep vibe was all over the place. There is wandering around the store because people don't know what they want, then there is roaming around the store to act like a troll. I know they were trolling because they weren't buying anything. They were too busy following women around the store trying to get their attention. Meh.
Old 12th Nov 2018, 4:51 PM #4242
Emmett Brown
Inventor

Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 931


My kid's computer crashed again. It's a problem with the fancy new Intel cashe drive. I was able to back it up to an external disk using Windows Backup.
Ha.
Windows backup doesn't work after you wipe the disk. The sad thing is, I think I knew that.

Sims are better than us.
Old Yesterday, 10:47 AM #4243
RicoSuavecito
Field Researcher

Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 356
1 Achievements


Got like literally 10 calls from pyramid schemers and their prospect garbage. Don't bother me with that garbage! I work in a school with an education BA and unless you will further my pay in this field DON'T PESTER ME!

- Sent from my iHell
Old Yesterday, 3:05 PM #4244
Gargoyle Cat
Alchemist

Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,963
1 Achievements


Trying to get hamster cages done, and this happens.

GC: Don't touch the ham, he bites.
Dingus that doesn't listen: Oh, hammy. You don't bite, now do you?
GC: sigh
Dingus that doesn't listen: Ow! You bit my fingernail, you little bastid.
GC:

Why is this a thing? I can talk out of my butt just like anybody else, but when I say a critter in the house bites ( both hamsters bite), why would I BS about that?
Old Yesterday, 4:45 PM #4245
Shadow214
Lab Assistant

Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 83


Dear the students who tormented while I was walking past my old school.
Do you think it makes you strong to bully someone who's weaker than you? Do you think it' funny that other are people suffering because of your cruel actions?
That you made a person with autism feel worthless and doomed to be always that weird kid who no one likes? Because I don't.
Reply


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