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Field Researcher
Original Poster
#1 Old 24th Apr 2019 at 11:47 PM
Default Lolly's life
Loly was born at 24 weeks gestation,
Her mother is terrified, afraid she's gonna die.

Lolly was born at 24 weeks gestation, her mother had an abortion but she born too early becuase of it.

Loly was rushed to the NICU, doctors carin' fo' her, they got the nurses and women and family and friends but Lolly got nothin' but a clamp to the baby's head.

Oh no, Lolly's alive, Lolly's alive, she made it, but how did she make it?!

No one's very happy about that, it's new york, where Loly was born, but Loly made it, too. Go figure, who knew?

Everyone's happy, they worshippin' they're gods, they're false idols, some are worshipping the real God, Jesus Christ but no cares if Lolly died.

Loly went home with her mother, Lolly was fightin' for her life.

Husband is happy to have a baby. He wants his baby, he thought that he was barron, this is God's little blessin', little does he know that his only blessin' in the

womb is gone.

Her husband calls, "where's Lolly?"

Her husband calls again, "I want to feel her kicks, again."

Her mother looks away from the beeping phone on the floor in her purse.

Mother's dying, they poked the wrong spot while givin' an abortion.

She died, right after they made Lolly die.

Lost a life.

Where's that life, now? In heaven, in the sky?

Loly was given hugs and kisses, and Lolly lost her life.

The doctors had stabbed Lolly in the brain, so much pain, she never survived.

Lolly's daddy came from home to see the girl he wanted and loved, Lolly, that was suppossed to be in her home, safe and sound but she was in a garbage can while Loly

got a bed and friends.

Where's Lolly's life that Loly was given, was Lolly not as important as Loly was when she died?

Lolly, hey baby, mine, I'm your daddy, I wish that I was with you now, I'll call you Lolly, cuz you were as sweet as a lolliepop.

I made a grave for you, I told my family about you.

We cared, we knew you were a life, and we loved you, too.

I'm sorry you're mother didn't love you, but I love you, too.

I'm sorry you died, I couldn't save you, It wasn't in my hands, it wasn't in my hands, it was in the dotor's hands, it was in your mommy's hands, but what if it was in

my hamds and I neglected it?

I should've been there for your mother and comforted her maybe then you'd still be here?

I really miss you, your mother didn't make it, but I know that she may love you and be holdin' you right now, right?

Is she holdin' you right now?

Is she holdin' you?

I lost it all, I should've owned it all, I thought I could take it but I couldn't so.

I lost my wife, I lost my life, which was you and is there much else that I can do?

What do I do?

My cousin said: Get over it, she wasn't a life but, hey, I'm sorry that yo' wife done died.

How could he do that?








Love for Loly








Dear Loly, it's your mom, I'm sorry you had to stay in NICU for so long.

You were only 24 weeks old, I could only hope.

I love you so that I can barely breath.

It's your daddy, Loly, I love you so much that I wouldn't change a thing, I love you so much that I could barely breath.






Where's the love for me?

A little girl says in the distance, no one can hear her, no sees her, but she's here.

She's crying.

Where's my love?

No one wanted me and they killed me but you get to live, it's because I was a that was too young.

But, you were too young too, so what about me?

You were too young too, so what about me?

You are way younger than I'll ever be.

I'm only a baby.

Loly made it to 1 years old,

Lolly made it as a soul.

Lolly died too soon.

Lolly died too soon.




Where's my age? Where my growth?

Where's my birthdays and my hope?

Why can't I be just like her?

Why am I here, but not her?

No one can hear me, you cannot see me.

14 years later.

Where's my love?!

Where's my love?!

Love for Loly, but she's the age that I am, Love for Loly, but she was just like me!

Love for Loly, I wish that had what she had!

I wish I could have that, where's my life?!

Where's my life?!

Where's my birthday and my pies, wheres the A+, where's the lies?

Where's Santa's comin' tonight?!


This is Lolly's life, none at all.

Lolly's Papi:

I love you, and I can't sleep, I see what you would look like in my dreams.

Lolly's POV:

I'm alive in Heaven.

Daddy, I love you, I am 18-years-old.

I'm a ghost of your love I can't find you, but I did find your note, it says:

Lolly, hey baby, mine, I'm your daddy, I wish that I was with you now, I'll call you Lolly, cuz you were as sweet as a lolliepop.

I made a grave for you, I told my family about you.

We cared, we knew you were a life, and we loved you, too.

I'm sorry you're mother didn't love you, but I love you, too.

I'm sorry you died, I couldn't save you, It wasn't in my hands, it wasn't in my hands, it was in the dotor's hands, it was in your mommy's hands, but what if it was in

my hands and I neglected it?

I should've been there for your mother and comforted her maybe then you'd still be here?

I really miss you, your mother didn't make it, but I know that she may love you and be holdin' you right now, right?

Is she holdin' you right now?

Is she holdin' you?

I lost it all, I should've owned it all, I thought I could take it but I couldn't so.

I lost my wife, I lost my life, which was you and is there much else that I can do?

What do I do?

My cousin said: Get over it, she wasn't a life but, hey, I'm sorry that yo' wife done died.

How he do that?

I love my purest being, Lolly, where are you now?

Where are you now?!

I'm in heaven with my friends, I'm in heaven with the other ones who died in the place where I died.

I know you love me so much, now.

I never felt that same love, I wish I felt like that before.

But, now...I'm finally happy.

The End.
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Alchemist
#2 Old 25th Apr 2019 at 3:56 PM
I have no clue what exactly this is supposed to be to be honest, but I can imagine it being a La Dispute song.

If you remember me, I'm awesome!
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Mad Poster
#3 Old 25th Apr 2019 at 7:32 PM
If this is your own work, I'd suggest changing one of the names to something similar e.g. Lilly. I found it really hard to read. The creative corner might be able to help you.

~Your friendly neighborhood ginge
Mad Poster
#4 Old 25th Apr 2019 at 8:25 PM Last edited by simmer22 : 27th Apr 2019 at 7:07 PM.
^ The name "Lolly" does sound weird, especially when you explain they literally named the baby after a lollipop, and keep switching between Lolly and Loly all the time.

Not sure if it's supposed to be a story or a poem. Perhaps a bit of both?

Some writing advice:

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