That's actually a great idea - I'd never thought of doing that. I'm going insane at the moment because we're home together for a month while my parents are away. Part of the problem is that he's a 22 year old male, has a tendency to laziness and has a brain that isn't really wired up to anything, but the ADD doesn't help either. I forget at times - before I posted earlier, I'd asked him to empty the kitchen bin for me, wash his plate from dinner and feed the dogs. I came back to the kitchen to find the bin overflowing, the dirty plate in the sink and three very happy dogs at the door - his response was that I'd asked him to feed the dogs; the other two things had gone completely.

I'm sorry that you went through this as well, but I'm glad you get on so well with him now. I get on okay with mine now, but I still feel threatened at times because I know he can't help himself and I have to hope that he's got enough self control now not to lash out physically. He's now substantially bigger and stronger than I am. He's 6'1 and 78kg. I'm 5'4, 45kg and in a wheelchair. He used to injure me badly enough when we were about the same size because he'd react without thinking

I do believe that ADHD is a recognised condition and that it does happen but I don't like this oversubscription.

It is harder to diagnose conditions that doctors can't see if some of them possibly have similar symptoms.

My dad's girlfriend's kids (she has nine altogether so the youngest three) have ADHD but sometimes it seems like they do it to get attention?

I don't know them well enough but it seems like because she ignores them and says "they have ADHD" they just act out over anything/get away with it.

It's so frustrating as the kids I've taught on placement have mainly just been hyper over good weather etc. They get overstimulated at home by all the gadgets their parents give them and can give symptoms similar to ADHD when they are just tired/wanting to not be taught boring stuff. (That National Curriculum issue is for another debate )

Oh I know what you mean; Tell a Kid they have low sugar levels and that they get Sweets when they get Tired, Take them to school and they will pretend to be "Sleepy" to get sweets; Its obvious when you think of it. iIts normal, Its Kids being Kids, But Everyone is OHSO WORRIED nowadays (Esp. In places in America where [I have *Personally* Found] Suing and Lawsuits are more Prominent)


ADHD Is Real, I grew up with an Older Sister who was Hyperactive, But we didn't give her the Medicine (It was MUCH Riskier back then, and even still, She wasn't THAT bad.. I think) and gave her a better and Controlled Diet; She actually used to ask NOT to have a Mars Bar because she disliked the person she became when on sugar.
I've put that in Bold because I want you to read it Twice; A child who DISLIKED being Hyper asking NOT to be Hyper, Being Mature, VERY Mature for her age. Parent's Skillz? Oh yes. :smash:

Well, it is real. Duh. There wouldn't be ADHD if there wasn't such a thing, correct?


My cousin was diagnosed with ADHD in, guess what?, kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN. I don't remember EVER sitting still in kindergarten. EVERYONE was hyper in kindergarten. Shes a 4.0 student in 4-H, shes won several science compitions. Shes not hyper without her meds. She was misdiagnosed.

ADHD does not equal stupid.

Definitely not, but I think it often appears that way to people who don't have any understanding of the condition. My brother for example has an IQ well above average but he's a chronic under-achiever because of his problems in concentrating and applying himself. And that, in many peoples' minds, equates to stupid.

Well, I just learned something then. I know an ADHD person and their well...not smart. Guess I just sterotyped there.

A lot of times children who have ADHD are behind academically. This has no bearing on intelligence but their lack of ability to focus does hurt their ability to learn. It makes sense if you think about it. If you can't focus on what you're doing then of course you're going to have a harder time doing it than other people who can more easily focus. With the right combination of medication ADHD children can be very successful.

I do think the condition is over diagnosed and mistaken for a lot of other problems. I also think some kids really need their meds.

A lot of people are talking about hyperactivity and specifically with refernce to behavior problems and that's really only one possible part of it. I know a lot of kids who have ADHD who are really very sweet kids who very much want to please. They just can't help bouncing off the wall. There's also ADD where kids aren't necessarily hyper but they have great difficulties focusing and are easily distracted to the point where they can only stay on task for a few minutes or even seconds at a time. If you can't focus on anything for more than a couple minutes at a time it's hard to teach anything or get anything done.

Thanks and the same for you. It wasn't fun at the time but I knew he couldn't help most of it. I know what you mean about feeling threatened, although I very rarely get it any more luckily due to the fact that I don't live at home and the situations we see each other in are positive ones.




Agreed. In fact I'm sure I've read that people with ADHD tend to be above average intelligence. My brother is so intelligent, he just doesn't work well under normal school conditions because it's too regulated, he can't focus on one thing for so long, is really disorganised and can't motivate himself, plus he gets frustrated easily.

I was doing some research on ADHD for uni and was reading about schools that cater specifically towards children with the disorder. Because they know how to cope with it and get the most out of the kids, the children all did really well. Just because people don't do well in school definitely does not mean they aren't intelligent; school is very structured and there are a lot of rules which kids with such disorders can't thrive in. If normal schools were better informed and equipped then these kids could actually live up to their potential.


Just wanted to add, there's a very clear difference between regular childhood hyperactivity and a child who has ADHD; it's not just about being hyper, there are other factors involved including impulsiveness and inattention. With my bro, it was clear pretty much as soon as he could walk that he was different to most children. A diagnosis shouldn't be made based solely on the fact that the kid has ants in their pants.

While I agree that being better informed would be excellent, I think the trouble here in the US is that public school is an institution, publically-funded and designed to be adequate for the "average student," not for those on the more extreme ends of the bell curve. In general, schools are overcrowded and class sizes are too large for optimum learning for all the kids. But especially in such an environment the kids who don't quite fit the "norm" -- kids who are truly ADD, kids that are dyslexic, even kids who just need a slightly slower pace in order to have a little more time to absorb concepts, etc. -- all tend to fall through the cracks and/or get pigeonholed as a "dumb kid" when really they are not.

But it is quite simply impossible in the general public school environment to cater to every student's individual needs. I am intimately familiar with this, given that I have an exceptionally bright child who's bored to tears at school so she sometimes misbehaves out of sheer boredom. I also have a child who is quite severely dyslexic who, try as he might (and he truly does try), just can't keep up, and so he struggles and sometimes fails to maintain a C average. Teachers are not superhuman and cannot structure their classes so that it meets the needs of every single one of their students, yet people seem to expect them to do exactly that. They also can't go easy on kids like my son because that wouldn't be fair to the other kids. So teachers are in a very sticky spot. Parents expect the school to provide a complete education for their child, even if that child is way outside the "norm." In my opinion, speaking as a parent of two "exceptional" children, this is not a realistic expectation.

It would be excellent if teachers and schools could custom-cater a curriculum for each student, but that's impossible in the standard structure. Often, any programs that do exist for exceptional kids -- be they exceptionally above the curve or exceptionally below the curve -- are either underfunded or understaffed or both. (But of course sports are never underfunded...but don't get me started on that rant. ) It would be excellent if there were lots of publicly-funded schools designed to cater to kids with specific special educational needs -- like an ADD school, a dyslexia school, etc. -- but there aren't. Such schools if they exist at all are usually private and very expensive, often way out of a family's financial grasp. It really is a shame.

I completely understand that - public schools are funded in the UK in the same way - and I certainly wouldn't expect them to design classes etc for each individual student, but most (if not all) schools have a special needs department that should be able to cope with, and help children that have a particular need. The fact that my brother got through the whole of his primary school education (from 5 - 11 years old) and over half of his secondary school education (from 11 - 14/15 when he was diagnosed) before any teachers actually picked up there was a problem is just a classic example of how schools don't understand what they are are dealing with. Once he was diagnosed I don't think they changed how he was treated at all, despite the fact that he had a special need. And this isn't just limited to ADHD; as you were saying one of your children is dyslexic and is struggling (a friend of mine is dyslexic and dyspraxic so I know how hard that is). My mum's best friend's son got expelled from three schools before he was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, and that also wasn't until he was way into his teens. I certainly wouldn't expect teachers to have some sixth sense that tells them what to do, but you might expect that seeing as teachers work with children day in, day out that they can tell when a child's behaviour isn't 'normal'.

Also don't think I made it clear, the schools that I mentioned above that were catering specifically for ADHD were special schools, not normal public schools.

I think teachers do notice. In some cases, you'd have to be an idiot not to notice. But I also think their hands are kind of tied. On the one hand, I'm sure they want all of their students to excel. On the other hand, they often have uncooperative parents to deal with. I think of my old neighbors as an example. They weren't big on discipline, believing it to be "damaging," and their kids were the terrors of the neighborhood, truly. They had five of them, 4 of them boys, all age 12 and under when I moved away. I remember talking to the mom and her telling me that one of her kids' teachers had the "nerve" to suggest that her son needed some anger counseling because he was picking on other kids and getting into fights. She apparently flipped out on the teacher. (Can you say, "Denial?" )

So I can imagine that teachers have to tread lightly with their recommendations. As much as some parents look for any excuse to have their kid labeled with some sort of condition, others fight it tooth and nail and insist that their kids are "normal" and perfect little angels despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

But yes, it's bad and difficult for the people who have these conditions that they don't get noticed and diagnosed sooner, when they truly exist. Frankly, I think that the fact that some of these conditions become "trendy" make it harder for actual cases to be noticed and acknowledged. I mean, if your kid can't sit still, you can get them diagnosed as ADD. If they're moody, you can get them diagnosed as bi-polar. If they get depressed, it's Asperger's. And on and on. I'm not saying these conditions don't exist, certainly, but I think that sometimes they are often misdiagnosed or prematurely diagnosed.

And I think that when a condition becomes trendy, it's harder for people who truly have that condition to be diagnosed and treated properly because it just seems that you, as the parent, are following a trend. This upsets me. For a while dyslexia was quite trendy. Maybe it still is, I don't know. When my son entered school, I wanted there to be official written documentation in his records that he had a learning disability. But I had a hard time convincing his teachers that he was dyslexic, even though I had reports from two different specialists to back me up, because so many people had not entirely truthfully made the claim before me about their kids. And for some kids, as soon as they hear that they might have a condition of some sort, then they know they can use that as an excuse, and then they start living a condition that they don't really have. Kids are smart that way. I'm not saying they're all fakers, of course, but I would not be surprised if some of them are.

el_flel: My cousin was completely normal, and her mother freaked out and took her to see a docter and was put on pills. No one in my family believes she has ADHD.

I know four People with ADHS. Three of them are Girls and the nicest, friendliest Peoples i know. They're sometimes really extreme in their behavior but not in a Bad Way, usually they're not really strange, i just tried to help them always because all three had Problems in School. Two of them took Ritalin were okay with it. Surely there were some Moments when i asked myself if do enough for them, for example one of them said she will commit suicide, but when the Police arrived everything was okay and she was laughing, i think she just wanted that we (her friends) care for her, because we all had some private Problems at this Time, but that was the only bad Moment in our Friendship. (We were quite angry after this, because Police and Hospital were expensive... And we had to pay it.)

But as i said at the beginning, i know four with ADHS. The fourth is my Cousin and he has really bad Problems. Sometimes i'm really afraid of him, but then i feel guilty, because it's not his fault. School is a really bad thing for him, because he hasn't many friends, and learning is just impossible. Several Schools threw him out, and my Auntie can't afford these specialised, expensive Institutes. He's taking Ritalin, but it just doesn't helps enough. Mom and me try to help Auntie Claudia, but we just don't know what to do now... Somehow we lost our Hope...

sorry for my mistakes...

My oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 12 years old (now 18). He was on 2 medications but the side effects were horrible. He wasn't his happy self and sadly for a while he actually thought it was wrong to become excited over life situations when it was perfectly appropriate to be that way. I made the decision to take my son off his meds with out our doctors input and asked him to meditate for 20 minutes a day (meditation=learning to control the mind). My son's happy demeanor quickly returned, he smiled a lot more and the light was noticeably back in his eyes.

I do think as a society we do tend to medicate when a better choice would be to feed our bodies healthy whole foods and to meditate if needed for emotional stress or daily if you have ADHD. I'm not sure if this is the cure for everyone who has ADHD but it certainly worked well with my son.

Last thought- academically my son has never done well, but for me, his life success is not judged by his report card or his achievements. Success to me is his true happiness.

i think i'd rather have my kid on med than running around stealing cars and setting people's bins on fire (atleast, that's what the kids in my area do for fun, the age range about 7 - 21, and i'm seriouse)
And yeah, you couls say "well parents should spend more time with there kids" witch i do agree in most cases. but sometimes if they get in with the wrong croud, no matter what you do/say to them, no matter how well YOU brought them up, these other kids will ruin them - so like i said, i'd rather put my kid on meds if they started getting out of hand than let them run around the streets like a crazy, and get put in prison.

My cousin was three. The reason he was diagnosed so early is because my auntie thought he was just being a normal toddler, and blamed herself. Until one day they were at my house and he was just off the wall. Could not stop himself. Nothing worse than a three year old running around the house *sobbing* because he was exhausted but couldn't stop himself. It was at that point my mum told my auntie that it WASN'T normal beahviour for a toddler and that she needed to go to her doctor. He was put on Ritalin at that age. He also has had his diet controlled quite stricly from an early age. A combination of the two has kept him right. But if he eats anything that sets him off or forgets to take his Ritalin WHOA. Kid is 17 and goes OFF.

Add and ADHD are very, very real. I've seen kids diagnosed with it that very clearly weren't. I've also seen parents who have had to put their kids in different schools because the parents wouldn't go to a doctor who would diagnose their kids with it. (their own doctor said he wasn't, but the school had a special doctor who seemed to specialise in diagnosing any kid they sent to him with ADD/ADHD and give them drugs)

I have it, but I don't have to be on meds. I really only get hyper if I eat, but even then I still am Hyper the rest of the day. And I'm 14.

I'd like to add that my mom works in a day care place and the kids in there are crazy, they're hyper, they throw things at you (I have personal experience with this. I was in their once and one of them obsessively threw stuffed animals at me), basically they're little monkeys. Their parents stick them there for 12 hours a day and when the little babies finally go home, their parents never train them on anything necessary, such as manners, speech, or acting normal. That doesn't necessarily mean every one of them has ADHD, it just means their parents don't deserve to have children unless they shape up. So in short, yeah, it's way overly diagnosed!

I have ADHD and when I don't take my meds, I am seriously out of control. I will start talking about something and literally not remember if I finished saying what I was trying to say and just start talking about something else. I am always moving.

I think it's not ok to say that just because a kid is hyper and forgetful they have ADHD. If someone is still acting like a kid and is hyper and forgetful and they're a teen or an adult, then maybe they have ADHD.

People who are misdiagnosed with ADHD are just as likely to actually have something else. APD has a lot of the same symptoms as ADHD and affects around the same amount of kids (5%) but when do you ever hear about it? My brother has APD but was originally misdiagnosed with ADHD.

Plus people think ADHD is just about being hyper when it is so, sooo much more than that.

I am a coach on a baseball team of 9-12 year-olds and one of the kids has AD/HD. I know from experience that is very hard to control kids with it and and to keep them focused on the game.

My son has ADD. He is 14. He isn't hyperactive as such but he hardly sleeps. To get his diagnosis we were given a tick chart to fill in and then were offered drugs. Nobody even sat and talked to him. I refused the drugs and with strict boundaries alone he is doing well at school. The school didn't want to help after they gave him a test - he was assessed at being years ahead in his English skills and in the top group for Maths so as he isn't underachieving they couln't care less. My son needs to have basic instructions repeated several times, has terrible trouble with his handwriting, doesn't sleep properly and is very easily distracted/forgetful. I got a school report last year where all of his teachers had complained repeatedly about these issues so I went mad at parent's evening as they hadn't even read his file! Don't get me wrong, I don't want him to have special treatment - I just don't think it's constructive to pick on his shortcomings.
My brothers all suffered from exactly the same issues but nobody picked up on it being anything other than being part of their personality. They both own very successful businesses now!
It makes me sick when I see people claiming their kids have ADHD when they just need some discipline and understanding. It's often a cop out for bad parenting which makes the real cases look less genuine. I don't even like telling people he has ADD as I don't want him to be judged as some out of control teen with bad parents as this is far from the case. I work with some great teenagers with ADHD and even Autistic spectrum disorders who, yes, are a handful but need to be treated and responded to in a certain way - I have been on courses to learn how to deal with their behaviour. Nothing like that was ever offered to me as a parent and I think they should be obligatory to anyone who gets a diagnosis and half of these kids probably wouldn't then need drugs. Obviously every case if different but they are being way over-prescribed in my opinion.

I have ADHD, and when I observe the stuff I do sometimes, it does sort of show.
Although considering that I was diagnosed with it before I can even remember, I don't know how reliable all diagnoses, or even mine, are.
Honestly, I don't feel any difference when I take my ADHD medication from when I'm off of it. I can pay attention is class and everything pretty well. Reading is an entirely different story, but I doubt they diagnosed me based on how well I could read.

But ADHD and ADD aren't supposed to be that the kid is hyper or can't pay attention. What kid doesn't fall under those categories? It's when it's thought to be to an abnormal degree that ADD/ADHD is considered.
I think it's a real disorder, but to varying degrees and some part of me doubts that everyone diagnosed with it has it.
I don't feel mine is that serious enough to even warrant medical attention though.